Is this not okay?

So, there are a lot of things I do wrong. I blame my awkwardness on a lot of things, but really ... I'm just awkward. I say that only children just don't know how to deal with others in conventional ways.

I'm using the line from Friends, "I've never had a maid before. Is this not okay?" I'm kinda confused about what I'm expected to do here. Is this not okay?

So, I don't understand bees wax. What's my role as a friend? Do I push and ask questions or do I wait for the friend to talk to me when she wants to? I hate the idea of "What would you want them to do if the roles were reversed" because I'm realizing more and more how much of an oddity I am! I would want the friend to PROVE that she's really interested and concerned and she'd basically have to sit on me to get me to talk, but I'd be really disappointed if she didn't! Make sense? I didn't think so.

I hate conventions. I just don't understand them. I need to be able to just be me without boundaries or limitations that I don't understand. But other people have limitations and boundaries that I need to respect. So, while I'm respecting those, I've misconstrued my role. I hate social anxieties. I want to be able to say what I need to say and have others do the same. I am the biggest hypocrite in that one, too.

Does anyone else ever feel this way? Why does communication and understanding have to be so hard? I don't really understand my place, and I want to fight against what I do understand.

Say what you need to say. Why is that not okay?