Color Quiz

Sometimes these quizzy things say it all! I was curious, so I took it. And now I'm pretty intrigued with the results. Intrigued enough to post them, I guess!

Free personality analysis from ColorQuiz.com.
Generated on Sun Sep 28 19:54:58 2008.

Your Existing Situation: Readily participates in things that provide excitement or stimulation. Wants to feel exhilarated.

Your Stress Sources: Has an unsatisfied need to ally herself with others whose standards are as high as her own, and to stand out from the herd. This desire for preeminence isolates her and inhibits her readiness to give herself freely. While she wants to surrender and let herself go, she regards this as a weakness which must be resisted. This self-restraint, she feels, will lift her above the rank and file and ensure recognition as a unique and distinctive personality.

Your Restrained Characteristics: Willing to participate and to allow herself to become involved, but tries to fend off conflict and disturbance in order to reduce tension.
Insists that her goals are realistic and sticks obstinately to them, even though circumstances are forcing her to compromise. Very exacting in the standards she applies to her choice of a partner
Feels rather isolated and alone, but is too reserved to allow herself to form deep attachments. Egocentric and therefore quick to take offense

Your Desired Objective: Seeks the determination and elasticity of will necessary to establish herself and to make herself independent despite the difficulties of her situation. Wants to overcome opposition and achieve recognition.

Your Actual Problem: Needs to be valued and respected as an exceptional individual, in order to increase her self-esteem and her feeling of personal worth. Resists mediocrity and sets herself high standards.

I guess I can't be a member of the club ...

I feel left out. Shinae just joined a new club. I tried, but I can't. Apparently I don't possess the proper credentials.

Many of her friends have similar posts on their walls ... but with one slight alteration. See that little minus sign? It's supposed to be a plus. Guess I'm missing something here. Oh well. All in proper order! Just thought I'd give you guys a shocker! And prove that I'm not cool enough to join Shinae's club.

Disorientated ...

My eyebrows are furrowed. Either that, or they're just growing together due to lack of tweezer maintenance ... so much has been going on and right now, I can't seem to make sense of it all!

I've been learning a little (okay, a LOT) about accepting the Lord's will. Shinae and her family are moving. It's been a messy situation, and I've been really involved in the process, so I KNOW that it's what Heavenly Father wants for them. I shouldn't be having a hard time with it, but I am. I've spent so much time talking to Shinae about following the Lord's council and accepting His guidance, but I'm having a hard time doing that for myself. I'm bugged. They're not moving very far, but they're moving out of the ward and out of the stake. Just as I get a friend to sit with in Relief Society ... we actually only got to sit together ONCE! We taught primary for 2 weeks, and then today was supposed to be our last Sunday together. She hurt her knee, so she didn't come. I was back to sitting ALL ALONE (I seriously had a whole row to myself) and I nearly cried! It took all I had to not just get up and leave! I know, it's in my hands to reach out and make friends, but I found the best one, and now she's leaving me! I just hate this!

Abby tried to share her grilled cheese sandwich with mom! Shinae was surprised to see that in her face!

I'm happy for them that they've found a place to live that's going to work for them and that their prayers and faith are finally paying off! I'm just feeling a little selfish right now! This weekend I got to spend the WHOLE weekend helping them with garage sales and packing. I got to meet Shinae's mom (whom I've heard SO MUCH about) and finally put a face to all the crazy stories! I've heard a lot of drama about this woman, but she was so nice, and it was so fun to spend time with her! She thanked me multiple times for all the things I've done for Shinae and her family and it was so good to feel appreciated! Yesterday, I had McKylla and Abby for a little while while Shinae cut and dyed her mom's hair. I took the girls (without their mom's permission) puddle jumping after the rain storm! We were wet and dirty, but so happy! Yeah, I'm a cool Aunt Brooke!

I taught McKylla and Abby how to run really fast through all the puddles

down the side of the street!

(Yes, Shinae. I taught your children to play in the street)

Abby likes to run and splash in the puddles like her sister!!

Wet, but happy!! It's fun to get dirty!!

I've been praying a lot about Shinae and her family situation and have really overlooked my own. I've gotta find a balance, because I'm really struggling right now! I think I've been overstimulated and I need to be content with just chilling. Things have just been going so strong and so hard that I'm feeling a bit depressed at the lull!

Conversations seem so mundane. I've been on such a high and at such a level that I seem to crave that now. I'm bugged by the everyday drone. I'm not being very descriptive right now because I can't quite pinpoint what I'm trying to say.

I'm totally bugged and I'm not sure why. I'm worried about Desirae. She's struggling with a few things on her mission and it kills me to see her question what I know she knows! The power of Satan is real! In our Relief Society lesson today, a woman shared an awesome thought that has stuck with me. She said that Satan will try his best to distract us from good things. He will throw trials in our paths, but when we attribute these downfalls as Satan's work, we can thwart his plan. Once we acknowledge that things are going wrong because of him, then we can say, "Get behind me Satan!" It's when we start to doubt ourselves and give in to the trials that he wins.
I went to Paige Rowberry's volleyball game and practically the whole family was there!

I had to be there to sit in for Des. Paige has a posse!

Wordle

Wordle



I found this on Lindsay's blog. I thought it was cool! You can go here
to make your own little word bubble thing. They take the most used words on your blog and you can edit it and personalize it. I actually deleted a few words like "tumor" and "chemotherapy" and "surgery" from my posts about Lila. Those words didn't seem to fit in. It's interesting to see my most-used blogging vocabulary!

Thoughts on Parade

And now I've got the song from Winnie the Pooh running through my head. "They're here. They're there. Pink elephants on parade ... hippity-hoppity!" Oy!
I've got a lot on my mind, and I'm recognizing that thoughts don't have to be organized or even logical to make their ways onto the world wide web. I've spent time reading your blogs, and get a kick out of all the randomness I find! Like, for example--the song my cousin's 4 year son learned recently: "Mary had a little man, little man, little man!" Hmm ... I need to find me one of those.
Everyone seems to be growing things. Children, husbands, fetuses ... (feti?), squash, tomatoes, watermelons ... I think I've been left out of that loop. What am I growing? My waistline. My hair. Surprisingly, my closet has stayed the same size for awhile now. I'm growing friendships and testimonies, and goals. (Can you grow goals?)
I think I've reached a point in my life where I'm no longer in a desperate scramble to achieve. I have my college degree, I've found a good job. I've recognized the Lord's will in my life and have set aside plans for a mission. I know there's more that I should be pursuing, but for the first time in a long time, I'm content to just be where I am.
My friend Shinae and I have done a lot of reflection together about our lives and our goals and our testimonies. It's interesting to have someone to share all of this with. I never had such an open relationship with my parents, and Shinae's become the sister I always wanted. I never knew firsthand, the benefits of truly bearing one another's burdens and uplifting each other. I'm growing my abilities to support and be supported in return. Shinae's taught me so much of how it is to share and to trust. I've developed a heightened sensitivity to the Lord's inspiration. I don't want to do ANYTHING without His approval. I've tried that too many times, and haven't gotten very far. I have seen the miracle of His hand in my life. Things are still crazy, chaotic and frustrating at times ... but He's in it, and in knowing that, I'm okay. I love where He's led me.
I'm 26 and single. I have so many great guy friends ... if I wanted to pursue, I'm sure I could even be married by the end of the year. I'm not saying that people are totally head over heels for me, but I have great guys in my life. But we're all kind of just floating. I'm not working toward a mission anymore ... and I'm not thrilled about making this job a lifelong career. I see all of you (my fellow blogging friends) with your families and your canning and your school shopping and I realize that I want that! But at 26, what do you do? I attended institute once this year. Shinae and I realized that we learned a lot better with our own study at home. And I wasn't too thrilled about the guy with Torets syndrome over my right shoulder and the other guy who kept asking questions while looking around at all the girls as if to say, "Am I right?!" Maybe one of my great guy friends will step up to fill a bigger place in my life. I'm not sure if I really feel like any of them could ...
But I'm not desperate. The scramble of Brooke's life is on pause for the moment, and I'm okay here for now!
I'm realizing more and more how much my loved ones mean to me. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a bubble and I could just disappear and noone would notice. (Only children feel pretty isolated like that.) But something's been happening lately and I'm getting a greater vision of my role in others' lives! As I was getting current on my blog reading, I read Shinae's summary of her experiences the last few weeks. I was touched that I was mentioned as a strong player in her life. Sarah broke down and responded to a tag I'd given her awhile ago, only because "Brooke is a dear friend." I have two best friend missionaries who are serving the Lord, and involving me in their thoughts, prayers and emails every week. I have a loving family who supports me, and is interested in what I'm doing. Cousins who harass, tease, text and laugh with me. Brian and Gary who talk circles around me about guns, campfires, and trucks while pulling me into the conversation. I have great people in my life, and I'm very much a part of their lives. I have people who read my incredibly random and often boring blog and even comment every now and then!
I love the support and friendship that I have. My life has a superb cast, if only I could figure out the plot!

Lila's surgery

Lila's surgery is all done and she is doing really well. Surgery went well - she lost very little blood, her vitals are very stable and she is now in PICU. We know nothing definitive until the pathology reports come back - which will take a week, but the tumor looked like a different kind of tumor than the first one. The surgeon and pathologist think it is probably a glioma - which is cancer, the kind that they define by stages. They said it did not look like stage 4. They also said it is a good thing that it does not look like the same type of tumor as last time. That would mean that her chemotherapy treatment was not working. We don't know what is ahead, but Ben jokingly calls Lila a United Nations of cancer. I will update all of you regularly this week as we know more - and especially next week when we have pathology reports back. We love you, thanks for all of your prayers and support! Julie

Lila and moral support

First, I wanted to rally my friends again in another fast for Lila Jane Howington. Those of you who have been following my blog know that she's my old roommate's niece. When she was three months old (back in May) her parents brought her to the emergency room where the doctors discovered a brain tumor. Since then, it's been removed, she's been enduring chemotherapy and healing.

We've been thrown for another loop:
Today, Lila had her first MRI since her surgery, almost 3 months ago. She has another tumor growing in the same place that her last one was. It's about 1/4 to 1/3 the size of her first tumor. Ben and Annie will meet with Dr. Grant (her pediatric neuro surgeon) tomorrow and she will have her pre-op appointments too. The surgery will be Monday. The doctors reminded Annie and Ben that we are not back at square one. Lila is healthy going into this surgery, where the last surgery was life threatening. We don't know what type of tumor it is - it may not be malignant. I will keep posting updates on our group.
Once again we are hoping all of you will join with us in fasting for Lila (and her Mom and Dad) this sunday September 7. Your continued prayers through this whole ordeal have buoyed us up. We love and appreciate all of you. Love, Julie (Lila's grandma)
Please keep sweet Lila in your prayers!

On another note, I just want to express my gratitude for good, supportive friends and family. I have never felt more uplifted and supported and loved as I do now. I have always been surrounded by good people and good examples. I love that we've all made an effort to stay in each others' lives. I love the roles we can play to teach and uplift each other. These thoughts are inspired by my friend Shinae, who (in only 2 weeks) has become the closest friend I've ever had. The Lord really wants us to be in each others' lives. I have grown so much and learned so much and SHARED so much! How often do you find friends to have evening scripture study with? I mean, seriously! This is golden.
I love you all and I'm so grateful to have good friends to keep in touch with! Thanks for sharing your lives with me!