Mounting pressure

I've been feeling really reflective lately.
I don't know if it's the new year, or the massive overwhelming load of crap I've been trudging through lately, but something's really got me going. Actually, I think it's more due to the realization that the massive, overwhelming load of crap really shouldn't be that massive and overwhelming. I'm just dramatic and tend to blow things way out of proportion lately. Therefore, the problem lies in me. There's the reason for reflection.
I don't know what I can say that will do my situation any justice without revealing the inner workings of my life and soul that really shouldn't be open to any wandering internet surfers. I miss being able to purge thoughts and ideas and frustrations with good friends. I've competely lost that in the last year. Most of you know I'm not good with filters. I say things without thinking and my mouth gets me into trouble. But, when it comes to real STUFF, I keep to myself, all bottled up. That is, except for those really close friends-like-family who've acted so often as sounding boards and ANGELS in my life. My world is painfully lacking in those types of purging, burden-lifting conversations. I didn't know how important they were until I've had to do without them for so long. The pressure really tends to build up inside those bottles.
Something's got to change and SOON. Temper tantrums and month-long breakdowns are exhausting.

tidbits of Christmas

Christmas is almost here! And I'm typing in Courier! Flashback to high school yearbook. Whoah! Thank you, Blogspot for this blast from the past. 
Anyway ... where was I? Oh yeah. Christmas! It's practically here!
I just want to share some fun Christmasy things that have brought me joy this year:


--making a snow angel while getting licked in the face by Targhee
--Christmas card pictures on my fridge (I'm up to eight, now!)
--the neighbor's inflatable snow globe collapsing in their front yard
--my singing Hermey doll (the dentist from Rudolph the Rednose Reindeer) who sings, "Why don't I fit in?"
--a crocheted green hat with a black flower that doesn't make my head all itchy
--My coworker David's Christmas sweater and having to ask him to turn off the flashing lights so I could take him seriously
--learning how to to wink and then getting excited when i do it right
--crawling in a skirt through the back hatch of my Blazer because all my doors are frozen shut
--wrapping a basketball for Willie's nephew, using the bow off of my own gift
--"Hey, Luc! Nice ... uhh ... sweater."
--hiding Kari's brownies from my mom
--helping Tami and Amy dip chocolates
--"These ones are really good! Unless you don't like cherries ... or chocolate ... or Christmas!"--Tami
--Watching A Muppet Christmas Carol--twice! And waiting awhile to push "play" so Kermit gets frustrated.
--cinnamon hot chocolate
--Driving with Kylee on the ice without turning headlights on, trying to find houses in the dark.
--Remembering the Savior and His birth, His life, sacrifice and example for all of us.

"this joyful season brings to all of us a measure of happiness that corresponds to the degree to which we have turned our minds, feelings, and actions to the Savior, whose birth we celebrate."--President Thomas S. Monson

and now, I'd like to leave you all with this:
I've been quoting it all morning, and I haven't even watched it this year. Guess that means I really really really love it! Hope you do, too!
Merry Christmas!!

I finally figured it out.

Josh Groban is exactly like Celine Dion. EXACTLY.

See the similarity?

Gina, you're going to consider not being my friend for just a moment after this post, but I'm convinced our relationship isn't that fragile and I know we can survive. For others of you who just LOVE Josh Groban , I'm happy for you. I just really, really don't.

Now, I will be the first to admit--these two have pipes! And lungs! And all the other anatomically necessary parts to display their talent. Yes, they have talent! I'm not denying that. Just ... not talent that appeals to me.

When I was in middle school, I remember singing along to "It's All Coming Back to Me Now." I was still developing taste back then. I was young and ignorant. It didn't last too long. I discovered my dislike of Celine Dion right around the time the Titanic sank. There's no coming back from that.

Obviously, my dislike of Josh came later. Precisely, it came right about the time I saw a video tribute after President Hinckley's passing to the song, "You Raise Me Up."  I'm sure the song's message is somewhat fitting--it just REALLY didn't work for me. But, after awhile, I'd forgotten all about it. Josh didn't really play a significant role in my life. Then, Gina burned me a CD. I have to give Gina LOTS of good-taste credit. She's introduced me to Royal Bliss, 30 Rock, knitted hats with flowers on them,  and chips with nasty cheese--all EXCELLENT things that have greatly enhanced my life. But then Josh started blasting through the speakers and I was forced to turn it all off.

Both Josh and Celine sing spiritual, moving, touching songs. Good for them. They're great people with great values and excellent messages, I'm sure. (most of this is based on assumption because I can't stand to listen to more than 15 seconds of what they have to say.)

Now, there are places for these two. I can listen to Celine ONLY when driving to Montana with Lara and Sarah, singing at the top of our lungs.

Josh does NOT belong at Zumba, Amy. Sorry. He just doesn't. Get him outta there.

But, I can hear Josh at Christmastime. That being said, I kind of like this one:


Ooh! And did anyone even know this existed? I honestly had no idea they'd even met each other until this very moment!



I take it all back. This made me love them both. Merry Christmas. :)

Lessons from Captain

Captain is my 1994 Chevy Blazer. *He's the blue guy in the picture below. He and I have a lot in common. We like going on all the same adventures. IE: hiking, bike rides, canoeing, mudding ... he takes me to lots of fun places!
BUT, we both have our issues. I'm going to tell you about his instead of mine.

For the past year and a half or so, his heater/air conditioning blower has been out. I'll have it fixed, and that fix will last for a week or so, and then I'll spend a night in a snow drift at -30 and it'll die again. Also, his windshield has been needing attention for some time. There are several cracks and the seal leaks and rain comes in.

The back window latch squeaks pretty constantly. Ask Skyler. He spent a good part of the Idaho Falls/Rexburg round trip trying to shut it up with a grocery bag in the latch. Mostly, I'm used to it and don't even worry about the near-constant squeaking.

No big deal, right? But, in the past month, Captain seems to be DEMANDING a lot more attention! We fixed a radiator leak a few weeks ago and got the heater/blower working again. Still, he has to be persuaded to start. He also started chugging a bit more than usual. Then, I took him to the tire shop to get my snow tires put on, and he wouldn't start for the tire guys. About $700 later, he has a new battery, and a new fuel injection system, and is back to being my normal Captain.

What's curious, is that he's had SO many problems for so long, and now that he's running fine, it seems that he doesn't know what to do with himself! I don't know--does he miss the attention that all of his infirmities brought on? Does he miss thinking of himself as a broken truck, one who needs some extra lovin' and who's incapable of big things? Maybe. Whatever it is, that dang back window squeak has intensified 500 X worse than it's EVER been. Poor Captain. You can't just be okay, can you? You gotta scream out in whatever way you can!

Now, a LIGHTNING BOLT hit me at this point in my Captain analysis. What the crap? I have the SAME PROBLEM! I go through life with tons of weaknesses and mistakes. Some are mere annoyances and some actually hinder my progression and ability to function. I push them aside and try to just live with things for awhile, but I'm unhappy and frustrated and really suffer. Then, I go through a complete overhaul. I change my life. I fix the leaks, get a new fuel injection system--I pull out my scriptures, I start praying more fervently and I attend the temple. I'm back on the right track, and can see a huge difference in the way I feel. But, apparently that can't just be it. Because this is when the little and inconsequential insecurities come in. I start focusing on some unfair hands I've been dealt in life--things I've come to terms with before, yet they pop up at inconvenient times when I feel like wallowing in frustration and self-pity. That dang back window is squeaking! Why can't I just be okay with being okay?

Anybody have any duct tape?

I Like to Buy Christmas Presents for Myself and Other Things I've Enjoyed Doing Lately:

So, I'm sick. And you know what that means? I'm really really really grumpy about it.

I pride myself in NEVER getting sick. (And by "never," I mean like ... once a year and it only lasts for a day or so. Freak-Texas-Roadhouse-inflicted-month-long-digestive-issues don't count.) I should have humbled myself and got a flu shot. Don't tell Dave, but it woulda been worth it. This sick stuff sucks.

It all started with Sydney. I blame her because she claims to have been sick before Thanksgiving started. My family REALLY likes to steal each others' food. We're germ swappers. Plain and simple. And now we're paying for it. I'm not even really THAT sick, but I'm kind of a drama queen, so ANY level of sick is intolerable.

So, now that I've rambled about the whiney part of my existence, I need to be reminded of good things. Good things like this:

That's Amy on the left and Tami on the right. They're my Zumba instructors and I LOVE them! We have so much fun in class and I always get to stay afterwards to chat and play. This was our first outside-of-Zumba date. I was afraid I wouldn't recognize them without their hats and ponytails! These sisters are EXACTLY what I wish I had more of in my life. I'm totally jealous of their closeness and involvement in each others' lives. But, I'm also pretty grateful they've given me a small part in that. I love these ladies! And ... technically, I'm not supposed to be posting this picture. I held out as long as I could, really. But something this good just HAS to be documented. It's not like I'm making it into a poster or something! (But don't you think this would look good on my wall? Hmm.)

I also want to celebrate my tall boots and skinny jeans. I know, I'm a bit behind the times, but it was a huge stretch for me. I went out of my comfort zone with this one, and I'm glad I did. A week later, Gina followed with the EXACT same pair of jeans. I showed up to Thanksgiving dinner thinking I was SO fashion-forward to see that ALL of my cousins were wearing them, too. I'm just a bit slow. But I like.

Cousins in boots.

Me, Alex, Manda, Syd and Whitt at Grandma's house before Thanksgiving dinner

And then, I love my Shmarah. And I also love that she's pregnant and resembles a potato. She's already the shortest adult I know. Put a baby inside her and she's just ... awesome. I kind of couldn't stop laughing when I first saw her. Is that how we make friends? Good thing this friendship's already made. Shmarah and I were roommates for years and years and years in two different states. And I've MISSED her! So, I stole my dad's truck and drove on all sorts of scary Utah freeways to find her. I only got lost ... twice. One time, I didn't even know I was lost until Sarah called to tell me to stop following them. I'd missed my turnoff. Dangit! There are always MANY reasons to laugh with this girl. I'm glad I got to do it again. It'd been too long.

And then, when I came home from Utah, I got to look forward to THIS. Oh. Man. So, I'm already Playmill Theatre's biggest fan. I spent some quality time in the theatre department at BYU-Idaho, and I get kind of giggly when many of the actors as well as the director all know my name. This euphoria was amplified by the return of Sarah Jackson who I may or may not have a bit of a girl-crush on. (Sarah's to the left of middle, and if you've heard her sing and been the recipient of her heart-melting smile and sincere friendship, you'd have a bit of crush on her, too.)

Sarah, What's-her-name, and Jon Peter Lewis during the pre-show

Ky and me

Kylee and I went together to the show. Highlights: when Kylee hit on the old man sitting next to her right in front of his wife. When Warren made somewhat of an obscene gesture trying to say hi to us when we interrupted his concentration. When Sarah walked out on stage and I got really excited and yelled, "It's SARAH!!" When Roger kissed a goat. When Heidi jumped on the bed. When Sarah hit ALL the high and low and everything in-between notes. When Dave and that other guy danced with feather fans and sang, "He wore a dress..." "No, I didn't!" "And I stayed home." When Christian almost dropped the goat. When Jon Peter Lewis looked like an old man. When Brother Dearden recognized me. When Warren danced with his one finger. When Sarah recognized me after the show, remembered my name and gave me a big hug. :) When Warren gave me a hug and then did a little dance and knocked the sign down. When I ignored the cross-walk to shake Cameron's hand. When Kylee was afraid to go outside in the dark with me as her escort. It was a GOOD night! Even thought I went through about 27 Kleenexes with this dang cold!

Oh, and I decorated my room for Christmas. :)

YouTube and Family Time

So, I'm loving this Thanksgiving holiday and the great time I get to spend with my family! We're hilarious. Seriously, we crack me up. If I could record some of our conversations to play back later, I'd never be depressed because I'd always have something to make me laugh. I'll post more about our adventures, but for now, I thought I'd share a bit of what we've been sharing.
Yeah. We like YouTube. How many Chapples can you fit around Grandma's computer? A few.
Enjoy these!

Can I Have Your Number? -- it wouldn't let me embed this one. But click the link and watch it anyway!

Tender Mercies in an ADHD life

So, I woke up this morning thinking that today just may be one of those "Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day "s. I was in tears before I even left the house. As I drove to work this morning, I prayed and I mean PRAYED for tender mercies to help me get rid of the frustration and anxiety I felt. But, I ran into a problem. As I prayed out loud, I also found myself muttering the words, "I thought Veteran's Day was tomorrow..." and then "... I think my drivers' license expires soon ..." REALLY? I can't even say a PRAYER without derailing my train of thought? No wonder I frustrate myself when I can't focus. After I apologized to Heavenly Father, I gave up--just HOPING that things would get better.

Then, when I got to work, I got some encouraging texts from my cousin Kim

who's been my #1 cheerleader through all the crap I'm trying to wade through. She's amazing.

And then my phone rang. It was my awesome friend Amy who teaches my Zumba class. I was helping her with some advertising for her Zumba fundraiser* and had a BLAST chatting with her as we both fought with our fax machines to get the right information over. Have I mentioned that I love that girl? The next tender mercy came when I pulled up the picture we took on our lunch date yesterday with her sister Tami who team-teaches the Zumba class. They make me happy and our time together yesterday was AMAZING. I'm still hoping for permission from them to post that day-brightening picture!

I got an email from Kylee and a Kit Kat from Jerry.

Then, I found this.



I watched several seasons of So You Think You Can Dance with friends. I LOVED it and may have even been addicted to the show. Then, they changed show times and I lost track and I've missed the last few seasons. But, this video was from the last season I watched religiously. I just hadn't seen the Ellen show until now.

My problems aren't solved. But, the Lord knows JUST what I need to brighten my day and remind me that some things really are worth smiling about.

**The fundraiser we're working on is a Zumbathon held on Wednesday, November 17th at the Sandcreek Middle School gym from 8-9:30 pm. The cost is a minimum of $5 donation at the door to go towards educational materials for Sandcreek's teachers and students. There will be giveaways throughout the AWESOME Zumba workout--all led by my lovely Zumba Sisters-- Tami and Amy. Come and support and get your Zumba on!