I Hope You're Happy!!

Glinda: "Elphaba, why couldn't you have stayed calm for once? Instead of flying off the handle?? I hope you're happy!"

to hear this song, go here.

So, this is my little tribute to Lisa. MY Glinda. We always joked that she was Glinda and I was Elphaba from Wicked. SO many characteristics are so fitting. Our dynamic has been so much fun. Never have two opposites been so good for each other. From Lisa, I learned how to trust, allow myself to be guided, listen to council, ask for help (sometimes), be a ministering angel, wax my eyebrows, let my guard down, accept weaknesses and support others through theirs, and give myself a pedicure.

I'd like to think I taught her a few things, too.

Lisa came into my life just when I needed her. She's been such a HUGE catalyst for change. I don't know where I'd be right now without Lisa's love, support and friendship.

I LOVE the relationship between Elphaba and Glinda (and in reflection, that between me and Lisa.) I think this video is an excellent portrayal of that. This is kinda like OUR story--Broadway-style!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LISA!

I love you.

Steps to Success

Life is full of tender mercies--little ways to make your day go better--reminders that life is good, even though things don't seem to ALL be going the way you'd like them to. I'm learning and trying to acknowledge these things in my life. I thought I'd share a few secrets I've discovered:

Tips for success:

Acknowledge the influence of others: I have so many people in my life, and I think about them all the time. Little things will remind me of one person or another and I'll find myself smiling about it, and then moving on with my day. But, what effect has that had on me, or the other person? Lately, when I think of a fun memory or just have a warm thought about someone, I've made an effort to reach out and tell that person. Today, I'm wearing a pink plaid shirt that I bought last year when I lived in Salt Lake. I don't know what I was thinking when I bought it. When I brought it home, my roommate Sarah told me it was ugly and I should return it. I didn't. I've only worn it once because I really don't like it. Today, I thought I'd give the shirt a second chance. It failed. But, realizing that Shmarah was right made me laugh. I told her so. We both got a good laugh about it and have enjoyed our little conversation that's gone along with it. I also try to comment on blogs and pictures as much as I can. I know I appreciate acknowledgment from others, so I want to give it and spread the love! Last night, I got a random phone call from a friend whom I see all the time. Kylee and I are involved in a lot of the same activities and we hang out a lot. But it felt good to just chat openly about life, being open about plans, situations, concerns; not worrying about how to say things, just talking for real because that's what friends do! Phone conversations with long-last friends are usually something to celebrate. But what about the good, hour-long discussion with someone you see every day but rarely get a chance to REALLY talk to? That phone call made my day.

Do something scary: As I posted last, I recently went through the temple. I love it, but I'm not totally secure with what I'm supposed to be doing. The whole process kind of makes me anxious. Our ward has a temple trip planned for tonight. I signed up to do sealings. I'm new to this whole thing, but I know it's a good thing to be doing, so I can dive in to the unknown and know it's good.

Let go: There are so many things that I want to have happen in my life. Some are pressing, others may not happen for awhile ... but I don't have as much control over these situations as I'd like. Recently, I had a HUGE answer to a prayer. Nothing happened, really. Heavenly Father just gave me a glimpse of what He has in store for me. My problem? It's not happening yet. And I don't know how to make it happen. I'm learning to trust and have faith that Heavenly Father will bring about His blessings and promises in His own time, if I am just faithful and patient. I need to live my life and do what I know is right and know that He will take care of me. I'm not in control.

I also need to learn to let go in other areas. In my phone conversation last night, I told Kylee about being anxious. She laughed. She knows how I get. She's had to deal with the frustrating end of my anxiety! I've realized that I need to learn to let go there, too. There's no reason to get anxious about other people. I can't control situations, and what I think I may want isn't always going to be the best thing. When I can let go and find peace, I find that the course is much happier. I don't have to direct the course "my way." I can be happy with the natural direction it takes. 

Hold on: In direct contrast, there's also a time to hold on. Even though we may not always want to deal with it, there are times in our lives when we just have to endure something while we seek the change needed. Struggles in our lives don't always go away immediately. And we can't always run away from them. We just gotta deal with it and pray for the strength to live with it until it's time to move on.

We gotta hold on to good things, too. TIGHT, if need be. Sometimes, important things slip through our fingers when we're not looking. I have a wonderful family, and I want to FIGHT to keep them in my life forever. That's what families are for. I realize the value of that, but I don't always act on it. When my family came to visit from Utah, I actually had the chance to spend time with my uncle Curtis and his three boys who are 17, 15 and 11. We wrestled, laughed, ate and saw a movie together. It's rare that I get to bond with just us and that opportunity was such a blessing. When I know something is important, I need to work hard to hold on and maintain that. And I need to be ready to turn my knuckles white when the road gets bumpy. Cuz it's all worth it.

Nah. This is more fun!

The days/events/chaos keeps rolling by without much attention to the blog. Not fair, huh, blog? Well, I think about you often. I actually think I need some sort of intervention. While you may think I neglect you, I definitely haven't forgotten you. I often think to myself: I gotta blog about this! And then, as I'm driving, I'll even plot an excellent and captivating monologue, detailing said event. The problem? I can't blog while I drive. I can't blog while I sit entering tickets at work. I can't blog at a volleyball game, or while hanging out with friends. So, those moments and great blog intentions pass me by. I don't even write stuff down. I should. Then those captivating and witty thoughts may actually end up on here.

As I stand, I've forgotten everything I wanted to say. I'm tired and I've gotten way behind on this thing. So, how 'bout I just say stuff about stuff and stop mourning the loss of great blogging ideas.

Stuff I want to say stuff about:

Desirae's HOME!!!

Yes, she's been home for a few weeks now. Whatever. NOT old news! My girl's HOME and we're still excited about it! Desirae served a 19 month mission for the LDS Church in Knoxville, TN. On her way home, she got to attend the temple when one of her first converts received his endowment. She had a rough, amazing experience in Tennessee and is a much better person for it. But, she's still my same Des, and I love that! It's been fun having her around and getting to hang out like old times. She's living with her brother and his family across town, so I don't see her nearly as much as we used to when we lived just down the street from each other. I guess that's what comes when you grow up, get jobs and separate lives. But, Des has been able to come x-country skiing, to volleyball and game nights with me and my friends and we're doing great at merging worlds. I love this girl, and I'm proud of who she is.

I had my own exciting event last weekend. I finally was able to go to the Idaho Falls LDS Temple and receive my own endowment. It's been a long time coming, but I wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing for the right reason and was fully prepared. It's been an enlightening and spiritual process and I'm SO grateful that I have such an excellent support system. I meant to avoid making this into a huge event, and wanted only to invite those closest to me, who had been a part of this journey for me. What I didn't take into consideration was the vast number of AMAZING people I have in my life. It was a real eye opener to see my loved ones show up to support me in this important step in my life. We filled that session pretty well! Roll call: Grandma Ruby and Grandpa Jay from Cedar Hills, Utah; Aunt Vicki and Uncle Keith from Saratoga Springs, Utah; Uncle Curtis from American Fork, Utah; Cousin Kim from Sandy, Utah; Kimball Madsen and her sister Lacey and Lacey's husband, Michael came from Rexburg. Kimball's parents Mark and Laurel Madsen came from Spokane, Washington. Desirae Rowberry; and then my dear friends from my branch: Kylee Dayton, Brooke Stoddard, Gina Orgill, Lisa John, Nicole Holmes and Brother and Sister Schwieder. The temple is AMAZING. I'm so grateful that I am able to make the covenants and receive the blessings of the temple. and I'm so grateful for the people in my life who have all helped, loved and supported me.

That's what I have to say for now.

Now for some pictures:

Nicole got married! Chennelle, me, Nicole and Kylee at the reception. Cruise buddies reunited! Hmm. Where's the groom?

Desirae and her little sister Paige at the airport when Des got home. They're both wearing Sister Rowberry name tags. That's their little Momma Lisa in the background.

Desirae, Kristine, Kelly and I x-country skiing at Harriman Park.

Of course, my dad would go for a snowball at such a tender occassion. I freaking LOVE my parents!!

Me and my Madsen Family outside the Temple after my first endowment session. Mom Laurel, Dad Mark, Kimball, me, Lacey and Michael. Kimball was my roommate, but her family has brought me in and claimed me as their own. Thank heavens for inclusive families! I'm so blessed to be a part of this one.

My girls at the lunch thingy at my parents' house after the temple. Nicole, Kylee, me, Gina and Lisa. Man, I've got some good ones in my life! They don't get better than this.

Have I mentioned that I FREAKING LOVE my parents? Yeah, they're pretty awesome! And it's rare that we can get dad to smile for a picture. Good one, Daddy!

Cousin Kimmy and Uncle Curtis. Kim isn't really that tall. Curt just wanted to show off ... and annoy. So, he picked her up!

MAN, I love this crazy family of mine!! Back row: Uncle Keith, Cousin Dallin, Cousin Makay (hiding), Uncle Curtis. Middle row: Cousin Kimmy, Aunt Vicki (hiding), Cousin Matthew, Dad Mark, Mom Brenda, Grandma Ruby. Front row: me and Grandpa Jay. The whole lot of them drove from Utah to be there. QUICK trip, but holy cow, I love the support!

How can you not love this man? There's no doubt, I have the best Grandpa in the world.

Thrown for a loop

Literally.

My hair is curly ... in its own way. Lately, I've succumbed to straightening it most every morning. It rarely obeys me, but the straightening seems to work out fairly well. Except, I'm not patient or thorough in most anything in my life--including my hair.

This last Sunday, I was running my fingers through my hair halfway through Sunday School and found something I'd missed.

Of course, I wasn't going to start on the "getting ready" process for the 2nd time in one day, so this stayed with me through church, visiting teaching, a fireside and a communication council meeting all day long on Sunday.

Fun, huh?

My hair defies gravity and most laws of physics.

Train gone ...

So, I really need to post more often. Especially when the last post was as freakin' whiney as it was. That doesn't need to stay at the top of the list for that long. Rant over. Move on, right? Nope. It takes time to follow up and push that post farther down the scrolly list. So, here I am typing the whiney post DOWN DOWN DOWN that scrolly list.

You're welcome.

Like I really have any organization to type out here ...

I feel like I should be posting something about the Olympics. EVERYONE is posting about the Olympics, and they're often quite clever and witty. Can I just link you to some blogs and claim affiliation? Like this one? or this one? No? Fine. Here's what I have to say, then.

1) I keep myself WAY too busy to watch much of ANYTHING. I make time for NCIS. I have my priorities.

2) I've seen a grand total of 30 minutes of the Olympics. BUT, I have STELLAR timing. In my blog surfing, I've seen posts about particularly interesting goings-on. Guess what? I saw that! And I saw that, too! 

So, Shaun White, I can attest to his stellar flippy tricks. Holy crap, who does that? I'm not going to be trying that anytime soon. At least, not on purpose.

Koreans take-down. Those speed skaters don't look like they're moving AT ALL. The glide is effortless. They're just floating along on a cloud of cotton ... until in a frenzy for the finish, positions 2,3 and 4 slide together in a Korean heap of spandex into the padded wall. SUCK a duck! You can't even blame some other dirty country for tripping you up. These guys went out together.

And what's with the girly-man-feathered-wanna-be-Russian-claiming-to-be-American-Marilyn-Manson-look-alike-with-every-bad-haircut-at-the-same-time-on skates? Yeah. What's his name. He's graceful. That's what he is. It's crazy skill, I tell you. Disturbing style and crazy skill. I liked the other guy. Evan something? I didn't see him skate, though. I just really liked his face.

Enough about the Olympics. Mostly because that's all I've seen, so I have nothing more to say. Oh, except that Willie taught me what that shadowy gray line means that chases the speed skaters around (or usually leads them along). That's the record line! So those two skaters BEAT the record! Technically terms, I know. But you learn something new ... sometimes.

Today at work I pulled up my roommate, Gina's blog. She had interesting things to say about the Olympics that took me at least 45 minutes to read. Work kept interrupting. But guess what ALSO happened during those 45 minutes? Some obnoxious song about rocks and trees took over the world. Gina, I WILL get you back for that song.

Desirae is HOME!!! It probably should be more of a highlight in this post, but remember the RANDOM? Today in particular, really. Oh yeah, but DESIRAE is home! For those of you who have NO IDEA what I'm talking about, Desirae Rowberry was my best friend while growing up in cute little Cloverdale. She's been on her mission in Knoxville, Tennessee. She just got home Monday. I got to hang out at the airport with her and her family and THEN go to their house for dinner! It's been fun having Des around. We went x-country skiing with friends on Saturday and she's covering for our broken Skyler at our volleyball games tonight.

I also want to talk briefly about why I like games. Some of you who have played games with me may wonder this because I ALWAYS LOSE! But it doesn't matter! I like them anyway! I've grown up playing games with my family. My favorite part? Sitting at the table at Grandma's house, throwing elbows in cousin Sydney's face, stealing Aunt Vicki's chocolate, calling Uncle Curtis a "fart" and laughing. Lots and lots of laughing. I'm not in it for the game. It's all about camaraderie. Yes. Big word. I just LOVE laughing with people I love! So, when we had game nights at Joelle's house, my favorite parts were messing up the orientation of Sarah's cards, and trying to give Joelle 5 card handicaps when she wasn't looking. They'd laugh because I could never focus, and things were just FUN! Saturday night we had a game night. Kylee HATES games. She's competitive and doesn't like to lose. There you go. I'm not competitive and I like to LAUGH! So, Saturday worked for me because --oh boy-- did we laugh! Things that came of this week's game night: Does anyone know what the phrase "Oops, there goes another rubber tree plant!" means? Everyone at the table is perplexed. Also, a lion/fighter bee combination isn't as hard to illustrate as you'd think. Aaron's question of the night: "So ... he pollinates?" And Kylee learned not to call out the word "RAGE!" whenever she missed a card. Poor Paige kept responding.

It's going to be a good week. I have lots to smile about. Hence, the random, scattered, missed-the-train post. I had to compensate for the whiney crap of last week ... but I have limited concentration skills, and limited time. Big things are happening this week and I couldn't be more happy about it! Ta Da!!

in another life

Do you ever think of people all the time, wanting the best for them, wanting to be with them, wanting to listen to them and love and support them ... only to find out they don't really think of you AT ALL?

Ever have one of those days, weekends, months where your perception of everything is skewed? Life isn't necessarily sucky ... it's just that your perception is.

Ever freak out and give yourself a panic attack, just to give yourself a wake-up call? Stir things up? SCREAM for some sort of stimulation? or attention?

Ever call for help and get ... apathy?

Ever expect too much from people? You try not to ... it's not fair to anyone. Yet ... it'd be nice if they'd step up ... follow through ... listen ... care ... ask questions ... be involved ... It's not fair to expect too much. Is it fair to expect anything?

I can't recall the last time i felt brave, i just recall insecurities--Owl City

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love--Charlie Brown

I wish I could cross my arms and cross your mind.--Owl City

Love is inclusive - it allows as many people as you wish into your circle of love--Megan's blog

"Love is never wasted. It may not be reciprocated, it may not be fully appreciated, but it is never wasted."--Elder Maxwell

What's good for me

I've decided that Reese's peanut butter cups are good for me. ESPECIALLY during a certain time of the month. My roommate Gina is a genius. Period.

I don't really think celery is good for me. Mostly because it's gross.

I KNOW meatloaf isn't good for me.

I don't think sitting cross-legged is good for me because my foot always falls asleep and then I tip over when I try to stand up.

Fasting on Fast Sunday is good for me, even if it's only for the laughter that comes when Janae, Nicole and I are harmonizing with our growling stomachs.*

Bearing my testimony is SCARY. But, it's really good for me. Even though, (or "especially because"--I haven't decided which) Elder Kim B. Clark from BYU-I and President Dwight Whitaker from the Ammon Stake were on the stand behind me. Those men hold special places in my heart and having them in my branch today was a tender mercy. Tender mercies are DEFINITELY good for me.

X-country skiing is GOOD for me! My muscles like being this sore, even though they're wondering how my neck got involved. And my heart is so happy at the massive amounts of fun I had with good friends. It's also good for the soul to make the squirrels laugh at you.** Birthday cupcakes in the snow are good for EVERYONE, even if you can't get the candle to stay lit.***

Bridal showers aren't always good for you. Actually, most of the time, I hate them. BUT, there are exceptions. Like, when the bride-to-be is super embarrassed by specific presents and the branch president's wife needs an anatomy lesson to figure out the gifts in question. Those are the BEST! I bought Nicole some brown boots to wear to church on Sunday. That's an appropriate bridal shower gift, right?

Sitting on the couch with Kimball is good for me. Even though (or "especially because") we're always intertwined to the point where we don't know which legs belong to whom. Laughter and drooling is also good for me. Those two usually come hand-in-hand.

Know what else is good for me this week? Telling good friends exciting news and getting their responses back. I have good people in my world. The BEST people, actually. I told my Grandma this and she believed me. That is really good for me.

*I know fasting on Fast Sunday is good for so many other reasons. I promise, I know this.

**Squirrels really do laugh. I promise. If you were a squirrel, you'd laugh too. Just watch.

***It wasn't my birthday. It was Skyler's. So you should probably wish him a happy one.

The reason squirrels laugh at us.

from Keri: We wanted to see if you could run from one tree to the next in several feet of snow...without skis... This is Skyler's demonstration.