Pay more attention to my life!!

"Pay more attention to my life!"

So, I had a friend tell me this in jest awhile ago, and I still think it's hilarious! He was so perplexed that I'd forgotten he was out of town one weekend when he'd told me months ago that he was going. Yeah. Sorry, Gary. I forgot.

I've realized that I blog about a lot of random crap and thoughts and stuff, but talk very little about the goings-on. Even when I have news to share, I hesitate to share. I kind of just don't tell people things until they ask. But then I expect you all to being paying attention to my life!

I got a new job. I start on Monday. I'll be working for the Post Register (Idaho Falls newspaper) in the advertising accounts department. I think I make sure each ad that's sold has a space in teh paper, make sure they're all scheduled to run properly and built to the right dimensions. I'm not really sure what else. The job starts out at 30 hours a week, with the hope of full-time and benefits in the fall. I found out about the job a few days ago. I don't know why I hesitate to share! So, cousins of mine whom I talk to every day without mentioning this: Here's your news! Uhh ... Oh, and I'll be working with my high school volleyball coach! Small world! AND I'll be working with several other people that I've never met before in my life! Big world! :)

So, I'm done at the temp job. I told them I wanted to be done Thursday so I could do something fun on Friday. They got another temp to start Thursday, thinking I'd need time to train her. We both got there at 8 a.m. and I left at 10. There's really not much training involved! So, I was out an un-planned day off work, but whatever. I'm home now. And I need a nap.

Other event summaries: I went to Utah last weekend for conference with my friend, Lisa. We stayed at her grandparents house and were able to go to Saturday afternoon session at the Conference Center. I randomly ran into my old roommate, Debra and it was really good to see her! Saturday evening I hung out with Shmarah and had crazy adventures like always! I spent Saturday night and Sunday morning with my Chapple grandparents, then picked up Shyanne (a Silvester cousin) to go watch Sunday afternoon session in sign language! Debra joined us and we chased around Temple Square for a LONG time trying to find where it was broadcast! What a CRAZY trip! I ran into an old neighbor/family home evening sister who's serving her mission in the Salt Lake area. I LOVE finding friends on their misssions! Then, we headed to cousin Heather's house for a LONG overdue Silvester gathering. There were 4 Silvester girls and their families there. None of the Silvester boys showed up, but that's actually pretty typical. It was so fun to hang out with Heather, Jennifer and Amanda, though and just be together! we can't remember the last time the 4 of us have all been at the same place! Umm ... has it been like 20 years? But we've reconnected via this wonderful blog and facebook, so we decided it's fun to be friends in person, too! Guess what?! It WAS fun! I love you ladies!! My family rocks!!

I went on a 20-something mile bike ride on Tuesday. It was our 1 day of good weather before the rain came again and I took FULL advantage of it! We also played 3-on-3 wallyball for 2 hours last night! With 3 on 3, you get a pretty good workout! So, naturally, I'm going to go eat a cookie and go back to bed.

Recent life event summary in pictures:

Lisa John's birthday is on St. Patrick's Day, so we all wore purple and took her for a Progressive Birthday Surprise!

First stop: Red Robin where the waiter kept invading her personal space!

Me, Hillary, Megan, Willie, Kristin, Sara, Lisa, Jeanna

Second stop: Tautphaus Park ice skating rink. Lisa had NO idea what we were going to be doing that night, so I made sure she brought gloves and heavy socks! ... and a swimsuit, flashlight, hiking boots, scriptures ... I couldn't let her know WHAT she was preparing for!

Me, Hillary, Lisa, Kristin

Crazy friends on skates. My favorite part was that Lisa kept saying goodbye to everyone as we'd leave to head to the next place!

Little did she know she'd be seeing them again in five minutes at Jeanna's house for cheesecake!

Lisa Jenkins, Kristin, Ashley, me, Lisa John.

We had a karaoke party with our friend Hillary before she moved to Washington.

If you couldn't tell, we got really into some of the songs!

Lisa stole some ice cream and we had to go back to Reed's Dairy to pay for it!

me, Lisa Jenkins, Lisa John and Jeff Larsen bowling for Jeff's Birthday.

Lisa Jenkins and I came up with a congratulatory gesture for "Gutterball."

There's one for a strike, and one for a spare, but something's missing!!

Me and Lisa after Saturday afternoon session at the Conference Center in Salt Lake City.

I met Shmarah at her apartment and then we went to Red Iguana for some YUMMY mole. aka. chocolate tacos.

This was such a pretty tablecloth. I really wanted to take it home with me!

Debra, me and Shyanne after Sunday afternoon Conference Session on Temple Square. Watching the session in sign language was AWESOME!! I learn things that I don't necessarily learn just listening in English!

I found Karilee ...ahem. Hermana Park on the way across Temple Square after conference! She lived with me at Greenbrier for YEARS and was my Family Home Evening sister a few times! I always wanted to run into her while I lived in Salt Lake, but never thought it would happen! What are the chances I'd see her now?! I LOVE this girl!!

Cousins Amanda, Jennifer, Brooke and Heather with 2 of Heather's kids, Shyanne and Hunter. Silvesters are a lot of fun!

Amanda's son Silvester (first name). We repeatedly discussed the fact that this kid has no hope of ever being "cool." But man, we love that nerdy little boy!! (and his nerdy parents!)

Gavyn, Ian, Ivy and half of Hunter.

It was a nice day outside so the next generation could "run and pray" in the backyard.

There's my life in a nutshell. Pay attention! :)

Post 101

Oh, hey! That 4 of 4 post was my 100th blog post! That's pretty good for having a blog for a year and a half! It makes me want to look back and see if I've said anything substantial. I doubt that there's any single person who's read all 100 of my posts, but there are probably a few of you who've read most of them! Am I wasting your time? Am I wasting my time? What can I be doing/saying to make these words worthwhile?

I don't think anything I say here is going to save anyone's life. I don't think I'm going to have any effect whatsoever on your health, your finances, or your eternal progression. So, what's the point? Well, when I read your blogs, I see your families, your kids, your hopes, joys, and laughter. I laugh with you. I pray for you when you need it. I'm aware and interacting with those that I love. When you read my blog, I hope you find a few laughs and a few insights to ponder, and maybe just a few reminders of why we're all friends and why we like to keep in touch.

I've been thinking a lot lately about purpose. What's my purpose in all of this? What am I trying to achieve? For the last 4 days, I've been working through an employment agency as a temp for a construction company. I basically sit at the front desk all day and direct phone calls. (there aren't many, the business is just getting started again and their work is all in Mississippi.) I've lost my purpose. I seriously feel like a waste of space and funds. (yes, they're paying me for this.) As much as I thought I'd love a free-ride job with little responsibility, I realize that I hate it. What's the point? What do I have to show for the end of the day? Where's the progression? I spend my day on email and facebook and I read old conference talks all day.

I know this position is just a short, frustrating phase, but it's caused me to reflect on my day-to-day life. What do I have to show for the end of the day? I spend so much time with my friends and really enjoy those relationships. I love being able to step back and evaluated the growth we've made together, the things we've taught each other and the love that we've shared. No matter what I do, no matter what my situation is, I want to make sure it's worthwhile. I struggle with finding a purpose in all things. As I sit here typing, I don't know what I'm going to do after this post is finished. Check the fax machine? answer the phone? But those little things aren't that important. What REALLY matters is what we do with ourselves in the grand scheme of things. I want to be working to improve constantly. I find myself frustrated with my job and home situation and I become stagnant. I can't wait until my situation is perfect in order to progress. I have to do what I can with what I have and know that someday, if I maintain my faith and if I follow the Lord's direction, my situation really will improve.

I had a priesthood blessing from my dad the other night. One phrase really stood out to me, and it's kind of been my theme lately: "Most jobs are dull. Most relationships require effort. And most progression requires work."

4 of 4

I was tagged again by Shinae. I swear I've done this multiple times, but it's kind of fun to post random old pictures! Here is the fourth photo from my fourth folder:



This was my last student apartment at BYU-Idaho. Rachel, Coralyn and I had been harrassing and joking with each other all evening and had been laughing for awhile! Coralyn decided it was time to get ready for bed and she got in the shower. Rachel and I weren't ready for the games to end, so we wanted to tape the bathroom door shut. We figured that'd be too big of a mess to clean up and take up too much tape, so we decided to tape a Mexican flag over the bathroom door instead. I was afraid unrolling the tape was too loud, so if I turned my back to the bathroom door, Coralyn couldn't hear from the shower!

Awesome. I miss those crazy times!! Bring on the prank wars!!

Mmkay. I tag Jeanna, Gina, Lisa John, Alisha and Cousin Jen.

And there was much rejoicing

Anyone following Lila's battle with brain tumors should check out her mama's latest post!

http://anniehowington.blogspot.com/

Dream Invasion

So, I want to study up a bit about dreams. I had a friend when I worked at the Standard Journal who was a licensed psychologist and we used to chat about dream analyses all the time. Where is Bobert when I need him now?

Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night from a dream that was REALLY bothersome? I did the other night. Most of my dreams are seemingly directionless and I forget them promptly. Not this one. I stayed awake rolling this one over and over wondering why I was so bothered by it. It became really obvious that this dream paralleled a specific situation in my life that has been bothering me. I've been trying to convince myself that I'm alright and that I have no reason to be upset by it, but apparently my subconscious feels otherwise.

So, is a dream a manifestation that there's really a problem and I should take stock in that and seek a solution? Or should I take control and tell my subconscious to "buck up" and get over it and stop plaguing my resting hours? Who's in control here? What would Freud say?

I'm still really bugged by the whole thing. And, I can attest that I DO dream in color.

Kimball was wearing these pants:

This is all I have to say:

I miss Cammie!!!

So wait ... I remember you threatening me about this picture. So, what were you going to do if this ended up posted somewhere? Can you bring it on, please? Cuz I miss it when you bring it!

Love you, Cammie! Hey! Come here!!!

Today

Today is the end of a phase. Today is the end of a lot of good things for me.

No more forgetting Rolayne's name and calling her "Rowena" instead.
No more laughing at Debbie Willis who sings her own name when she calls.
No more saying funny things because we know Danielle's eavesdropping, waiting to get a laugh from her.
No more waiting for Catrina to sneeze three times in a row so I can yell across the office: "Bless you so the leprachauns don't come take you away to be their wife!"
No more tapping on the glass to scare the man agers in their offices.
No more forwarding my phone to Josh because I don't want to take any more calls.
No more harrassing Josh about taking transfer calls.
No more "Hey! Come here!" to Cammie just so we can talk about each others' lives.

I love BYU-Idaho. I love the mission of the school. I love my job and I love that I've gotten really good at it. I can answer most any phone call with competency. I'm good at it and I like it here. But, today's my last day, and I have to be okay with it.

As I speculated about all the circumstances that would allow me to stay, I had a lot of different scenarios drawn up. Each and every one of those scenarios has happened. We will soon have two openings in our office, including the position I'm currently in. My boss has gone to bat for me several times, trying to get them to let me stay. The final decision comes down to this: the Church has issued a hiring freeze, and we're not even allowed to replace people who leave. This only means that the final rejection has come from the First Presidency. How can I argue that? I can't. I can't speculate "what if I'd done this better" or "they just don't understand the need or the circumstance." The Lord understands and He's directing this. It's gotta work this way.

I knew today would be hard. Cammie's out because her son had surgery yesterday. I'm on my own to juggle the madness and I'm not going to be able to catch up. I'm leaving her with a mess. I knew it would be rough and I wanted to give myself a few happinesses. I'm wearing my favorite skirt. I'm not wearing my favorite shirt. Those two really don't match. I'm planning a drive to Jackson tomorrow. I've got a good song playing in my head:

The more I think, the less I see
when I'm able to walk
I'm queen of my world
I let it rain on my skin
I don't let myself down
I don't let myself down
just wanna be one with you
wanna be one with you