Post 101

Oh, hey! That 4 of 4 post was my 100th blog post! That's pretty good for having a blog for a year and a half! It makes me want to look back and see if I've said anything substantial. I doubt that there's any single person who's read all 100 of my posts, but there are probably a few of you who've read most of them! Am I wasting your time? Am I wasting my time? What can I be doing/saying to make these words worthwhile?

I don't think anything I say here is going to save anyone's life. I don't think I'm going to have any effect whatsoever on your health, your finances, or your eternal progression. So, what's the point? Well, when I read your blogs, I see your families, your kids, your hopes, joys, and laughter. I laugh with you. I pray for you when you need it. I'm aware and interacting with those that I love. When you read my blog, I hope you find a few laughs and a few insights to ponder, and maybe just a few reminders of why we're all friends and why we like to keep in touch.

I've been thinking a lot lately about purpose. What's my purpose in all of this? What am I trying to achieve? For the last 4 days, I've been working through an employment agency as a temp for a construction company. I basically sit at the front desk all day and direct phone calls. (there aren't many, the business is just getting started again and their work is all in Mississippi.) I've lost my purpose. I seriously feel like a waste of space and funds. (yes, they're paying me for this.) As much as I thought I'd love a free-ride job with little responsibility, I realize that I hate it. What's the point? What do I have to show for the end of the day? Where's the progression? I spend my day on email and facebook and I read old conference talks all day.

I know this position is just a short, frustrating phase, but it's caused me to reflect on my day-to-day life. What do I have to show for the end of the day? I spend so much time with my friends and really enjoy those relationships. I love being able to step back and evaluated the growth we've made together, the things we've taught each other and the love that we've shared. No matter what I do, no matter what my situation is, I want to make sure it's worthwhile. I struggle with finding a purpose in all things. As I sit here typing, I don't know what I'm going to do after this post is finished. Check the fax machine? answer the phone? But those little things aren't that important. What REALLY matters is what we do with ourselves in the grand scheme of things. I want to be working to improve constantly. I find myself frustrated with my job and home situation and I become stagnant. I can't wait until my situation is perfect in order to progress. I have to do what I can with what I have and know that someday, if I maintain my faith and if I follow the Lord's direction, my situation really will improve.

I had a priesthood blessing from my dad the other night. One phrase really stood out to me, and it's kind of been my theme lately: "Most jobs are dull. Most relationships require effort. And most progression requires work."