Reeling and Smiling

Wow, the last couple of weeks have been a TRIP! I really don't even know where to start. But right now, I'm sitting at home alone for the first time in a LONG time! It's actually been so great to be busy after so long of doing NOTHING!

That's right! I'm busy! Which means I got a job! I am the editorial/ads assistant for River City Weekly newspaper in Idaho Falls. We're a small, editorial paper that has grown SO MUCH in the past few months, so we're expanding like crazy! I've actually been hired to sort of create my own job. I've been working on ways to make ad tracking more effecient. I'm the liason between the ad sales people and the designer, so she doesn't have to track down the ad elements and call to renew. I'm also in charge of obituaries, building permits, marriage licenses, etc. That's a start. I'm getting more and more involved. I have been given very limited direction, so we'll see what I can do with this!

I'm excited, though. I feel SO GOOD about staying in Idaho Falls. I love the upbeat, community feel of this newspaper, and I love that I found a job in my field ... doing stuff that I love and that I'm good at! I've been working there for just over a week, and I already feel at home. The office is tiny and we're all in each others' space, but it works!

Another reason I've been so busy: Last time I blogged, I mentioned my friend, Shinae. When I blogged last, I'd just taken the step to introduce myself. That seems like it's been YEARS ago! I've found something AMAZING in Shinae! We have a blast! I've spent a lot of time with her and her family and I've had witness upon witness that the Lord really guided us together. It's funny how quickly we clicked! Within hours, we were talking about everything! It's been so great to show support and be uplifted in return. We're "sharing friends" and we even shared a cold this last week! We need to learn where to draw that line! Her daughters, McKylla and Abby have really taken to me, and we really have a lot of fun! We've made milkshakes, put together puzzles, gone to the zoo, watched movies, played on the swingset, climbed rocks, gotten stuck in the mud, gone canoeing, entertained brothers, taught primary classes, and talked A LOT! I'm so grateful to have such good, close, caring friends in my life. And I'm blown away that it's all happened in less than 2 weeks!! I'm busy, I'm tired, I'm thirsty! But I'm HAPPY, and I wouldn't have it any other way!

Tender Mercies and Hugs from Addie

I am just starting to see the blessings of the last few weeks. I am such a stinkin' slow learner! But I am totally overwhelmed right now at how much the Lord really knows me and how much He shows me everyday. Even when I don't know I'm being guided, He is steering my course and I am SO grateful!!!

I still don't have a job. It's been a month and a half since I lost my job in Salt Lake and every morning, I still log onto at least 6 different employment websites, searching for something. I'd often wonder if I made the right decision in leaving when I did. I could have stayed at least an extra couple of weeks at my miserable job and had another paycheck or two! But honestly, the timing could not have been better. Because I came home when I did, I got to spend the next MARVELOUS week and a half with my best friend, Desirae, before she left on her mission. Desirae and I used to do EVERYTHING together and were so crazy and had so much fun! We were together in everything, but the last few years, we haven't been able to spend much time together. During a personal crisis in February of 2006, I left my apartment in Rexburg, didn't tell my roommates, skipped my classes and drove to Seattle in a snowstorm to see Des. She was the one person I knew would be there for me. That was really the last quality time we've had together. But for the week and a half before she left, we did EVERYTHING! We floated the canal, we canoed across Palisades reservoir, we played croquet, we played card games, we played with her neice and nephew at the splash park, we climbed waterfalls, we roasted marshmallows, we went shopping and we laughed A LOT! It was just like it had always been ... so much fun! And it was so great to be with her and to help her prepare for such a great journey she is making now in Tennessee. If I'd stayed at Spillman, I would have missed those priceless days with Des!

Paige, Desirae and me at Monkey Rock!

Another cool thing that's happened: I found a job with LDS Philanthropies in Provo that I applied for. It sounded so good because I fit all the requirements, the job sounded like fun, and I'd be working for the Church! (can't imagine a better employer!) But I was a little wary of moving back to Utah. I was excited for the possibility, but for some reason, I couldn't get my heart set on the job. I just wasn't into it. I thought maybe I just didn't want to get my hopes up, or I was hesitant because of my Utah prejudices ... but I was asked to do testing (which I passed with flying colors) and then I was scheduled for an interview. I drove down last Wednesday night and got to Grandma and Grandpa's house at about 10:30. If I got the job, I'd be living with them for awhile, which would be ... sort of weird. My hips and head hurt SO BAD from sitting in the car, so I went to bed. I woke up at about 6 a.m. with a killer headache. I tried to sleep it off. No luck. At about 9 a.m. I basically crawled up the stairs to Grandma's medicine cabinet. I have no luck taking Ibuprofen on an empty stomach, so I choked down half a slice of bread, but couldn't seem to gag the 2nd half down. I took the medicine and went back downstairs. Within 10 minutes, I was throwing up. Who can go to a job interview under these circumstances?! I prayed so hard that at the least, I'd be able to feel well enough to go to the interview and carry myself well enough that I would be satisfied with myself, whether or not I got the job. I was able to swallow a handful of dry cheerios, and then showered and got ready. I was so anxious from my crappy morning ... how was I going to shine and show my personality? Just as I was ready to leave, Grandma came home with my 3 year old cousin, Addison. Addie had been telling Grandma, "We have to hurry so I can give Brooke a hug before she leaves!" Addie has always been pretty shy around me, but that morning, she climbed into my arms for the best, full-body, snuggle-hug! That little girl is the closest thing to an angel that Heavenly Father sent! I could not stop smiling all the way to the interview!

And I couldn't have felt better about the interview! I'm really good at this stuff! I was funny, I was witty, I was gracious and articulate. I totally rocked that interview and it was really so much fun! I wasn't necessarily pushing for that job (while it sounded great!) but I just wanted to feel good about myself. I wanted to be able to be myself, and the Lord had helped me do that through sweet little Addison! The interviewers told me they'd call me Friday and would want someone to start work on Monday! I started to worry about having to move to Grandma and Grandpa's over the weekend and making all these changes again and I found myself dreading the phone call! I couldn't tell again if it was just nerves, but the more I thought and prayed about it, the more I felt it wasn't right. And I was actually RELIEVED when Linda called Friday to tell me that they'd chosen someone else with more experience! I couldn't have been happier because this time, I actually recognized the Lord's hand in it. It wasn't right!

So, my mom's been REALLY bugging me about going to the single's ward. I have NOT had good experiences with non-student single's wards! I just really didn't want to go. Plus, I'd felt such a prompting to get to know this woman in the family ward, and I hadn't done it yet! (that story's next!) And I couldn't go to a single's ward without first developing a relationship with Shinae! Otherwise, I'd never get the chance! And I didn't know anyone in the single's wards, they're all dull (they always are) and ... blah blah blah.
So, in sacrament meeting, we sit behind Nancy Jenkins and her daughter, whom I've never met. Nancy is the YW president and works with my mom. My mom tells me that Nancy is just hilarious and wonderful and her husband is in the branch presidency of the singles ward. Nancy's daughter, Lisa sings the musical number while Nancy plays the piano. They did "In Mercy's Arms" and it was absolutely AMAZING! I looked across the chapel and saw Shinae with her family, and she was obviously touched by the song, too. I HAD to talk to her today! After sacrament meeting was over, Nancy's daughter, Lisa turns to me and says, "Brooke! I hear you're single!" and she proceded to tell me all about the singles ward and how I should go with her and she'd kidnap me right now if I wanted to stay after and wait for her to do her visiting teaching! I told her I'd stay the rest of the meetings in the family ward but that I'd check out the singles ward next week. And she wasn't dull! And I'd have a friend there! She actually made me want to go! Tender mercy! But I couldn't leave yet, I still had to talk to Shinae!

So, Shinae. She was new to the ward when I was still working in Rexburg. She and her husband spoke in sacrament meeting and so much of what she said spoke right to me. I felt the undeniable feeling that I needed to get to know her and we were meant to be friends. (Cheesy, I know, but it's happened to me before and it's SO REAL!) But for some reason, I've always chickened out! Heck, that was months ago! Mind you, I've moved to Salt Lake and back since then! So, two weeks ago, she made some awesome comments in Relief Society and I got the distinct impression to thank her for her comments afterwards. I prayed that I would get the opportunity. But so much was riding on this! Was I supposed to tell her, "And Heavenly Father's telling me that we should be best friends!"? I mean, c'mon! So ... I chickened out after Relief Society. AND each of the six other times the Lord put us in each other's paths in the following ten minutes! I swear, she must have thought I was a weirdy because each time we'd make eye contact and I'd just smile and walk past. Oy! what a dork I am! So I prayed about it a LOT! I've got this social imbalance that I blame on my only-childness. I don't understand friendship conventions. I've been known to write letters, asking to be friends. I'm not kidding. And this really wasn't that long ago! I prayed so hard that I'd be able to handle this naturally and not resort to desperate letter writing! And guess what?! The anxiety was gone! I knew I needed to do something, but I felt it would happen naturally and I didn't have to push it!

So, yesterday at church ... I didn't go with Lisa to the single's ward. I went with my parents to Sunday School. I sat next to dad. Shinae came in later and sat next to my mom. I thought, "PERFECT! When mom and dad leave after Sunday School, I can slide over and talk to Shinae!" She left before they did. Oy! But, she came back! And came down my row, but asked another woman where she'd be sitting. I just expected Shinae to sit in that row behind me and my chance was gone. But she sat 2 seats away from me! I'm so accustomed to just staring down and trying not to acknowlege that I'm all alone and friendless that I didn't know what to do to reach out to someone next to me! I seriously thought I was going to chicken out again, but I found myself introducing myself! We got to chatting and before the meeting had even started, we decided we should call each other to do something! So, today, I am just amazed at how everything has fallen into place. Shinae and I texted each other quite a bit today, swapped blog addresses, and I've been reading her blog. I can see just a glimpse of why the Lord thought we should be friends! She is so much like me! Dang, the woman's a hippie! I love it. And I'm so excited about it all. And I'm so grateful for the role Heavenly Father plays in my life!

And I have a job interview on Wednesday! Wish me luck!!

Bald is Beautiful!

Update on Lila:

Some of you have asked, so I thought I'd tell you what I know! Lila is doing well. She is on a monthly regimend of chemotherapy and is being fed through a tube because the treatment makes her vomit. She's extemely sensitive to germs, so the house must be sterile. She's lost some hair, but is in competition with her dad to keep more than he has! What a trooper! Thanks for your continued prayers and support!

Tagged! Run Faster next time!

I'm it. I thought I had run out of reach, but Andrea's freakishly long arms reached out and tagged me. Guess it's impossible to get away. Shortly, it will be my turn to tag a few of you! And there ain't nothing you can do about it.

The Rules:
Link the person(s) who tagged you.
Mention the rules on your blog.
Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.
Tag 6 fellow bloggers by linking them.
Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged.

Quirk #1: I take the toilet seat annoyance a step further. Not only should the seat be down, but the lid should also be down when not in use! Who wants to enter a bathroom and have that grossness staring them in the face? Plus, I can't tell you how many things get dropped in a bathroom! And with that germy cavern left gaping open, where is my hairbrush going to land? I walked into the bathroom in the dark one night because my roommate was asleep and I didn't want to wake her by turning the light on until the door was shut! I set my towels down on the toilet and shut the door. When I turned on the light, I realized that the lid had been left up and my towels were now dangling in the toilet water! I had a talk with Sarah about putting the lid down. Her response: "I'm a girl!!!" ... what's her point?

Quirk #2: I don't like working out if I know it's working out. I like to "play." I'll go on killer long bikerides if the scenery is good. I'll hike mountains if I get to stop and play in the creek or climb over boulders ... I'll play volleyball all day long! But put me on a treadmill ... I get off and go get a cookie. So, since I'm seeing a definite need for an increase in my physical activity I've started doing yoga for kids. I found an awesome CD called Dance for the Sun by Kira Willey. It's very earthy ... hippie if you will. And I LOVE it! So, while I'm stretching my hands to the sky, with the bottom of my right foot planted on the inside of my left knee, I sing "I am, I am, I am an apple tree! And I'm tall! So tall!" It brings joy to my soul. I also like jumping like a frog.

Quirk #3:

Chips in the hand=grossest thing in the world! Anybody want to share popcorn with me? I have to hold the bowl! I can't take handfulls of anything that might rub off! Greasy, salty, sticky palms make me cringe! I eat finger food using my thumb and the first two fingers. I could be absolutely starving, but unless you give me a napkin to hold that gooey brownie, I'll decline. I just can't do it!

Quirk #4: I HATE aftertastes. Like right now, I ate a bagel before I started blogging this, and now I need to go brush my teeth. I swear, I brush my teeth like 10 times a day. Dinner and a movie? I pack my toothbrush. I think it's for a combination of reasons. 1: fear of something in my teeth 2: fear of bad breath 3: I don't want to taste what I've eaten after I'm done eating it!

Quirk #5:

I really wanna be a hippie. Now, don't get me wrong. I don't want the drugs or the nudity or the free-growing body hair! But I'd love to wear bright colors, grow my own garden, play the guitar all day, make my own pottery, ... I love listening to hippie folk music, I go to the mountains to pick berries, I'd much rather ride my bike than drive my car! I LOVE art shows and concerts and craft days at the river I own 3 pair of Tevas and a lot of long, flowered skirts! ... I just need to learn to play the guitar!

Quirk #6: I sign to myself. Some crazy people talk to themselves. I think that might be better. From far away, you can't really tell they're crazy! But not me. From far away, you'll still see my fingers wiggling down by my side as I'm fingerspelling words. Sometimes, instead of fingerspelling, I'll be doing the actual signs out in front of me, touching my hands together and moving them to parts of my face ... this is how I realize that I don't know as many signs and I'd like. And I often forget signs, so I make up new ones ... or confuse them with similar words. Like the signs for "cake" "chocolate" "church" and "computer" are all very similar. As are those for "America" "roommate" "wrestling" "football" and "machine." I also confuse "win" with "sin" ... the signs are nothing alike.

Hmm. Okay, I tag Heather, Amanda, Sarah, Lara, Drew, and Cody & Pauline.

Back in Idaho

So ... I've been avoiding blogging about this because it just sucks and I don't want to talk about it! But I figured I should let you all know. I lost my job in Salt Lake. It was actually a forced mutual decision. I was miserable. They wanted to fire me. After a whole day of deliberations, I just quit. It was going to happen anyway, whether it was that day or 2 weeks later after being miserable and on "probation"! I felt like I was on probation anyway ... I didn't need more paranoia! So, I packed for a couple of weeks and came home to Idaho. I was going to be making the trip every weekend from SLC anyway, so I figured I'd just stay here.

I'm super relieved at being back in Idaho and just want to find a job and stay here. My goal is still to work my tail off and be able to go on a mission in a few months, but it's going to be a LOT harder without that technical writer income! But everytime I think about going back to live in Salt Lake, I just want to cry! I sucks though because Sarah and I just signed a contract for a new contract and moved in two weeks ago! And now I'd be leaving her on her own. I still don't have a job. I've been looking into things and am waiting to hear back from a few places, but my future hangs in the balance! I could really use your prayers right now! I'm trying hard not to be so discouraged and depressed about this, but it's not working out very well!

I have some great friends in Idaho that kidnapped me and cheered me up when I got back to Idaho. I'm grateful for that. I just love being back home! I just wish I had a purpose and a vision of how it's supposed to work out. Faith. I'm working on that.

Things to Blog About ...

I'm starting to notice something about myself. I suck at blogging! I read my friends' blogs and hear about family vacations and fun things kids say and new babies and preparing for new babies and new cars and moving and coworkers and exciting, but everyday occurrences. (Not that new babies come every day, but it's life that you guys are all talking about!)
So, what's my problem? I don't talk about life. I could tell you all about the rodeo I went to on Saturday night or I could tell you that Sarah and I are moving today (yes, I'm included in all of the bloggers who are moving!) But we're only moving two buildings away and we're doing it all after work today. I could tell you about the five mile hike I went on last night by myself that was steeper than I expected and my knees (which are in NO good shape) were shaking like crazy by the time I got back to the bottom IN THE DARK and I almost stepped on a snake. Then I came home and threw up all night because of the bad toll it took on my body when I hadn't eaten and I didn't drink anything.
I could blog about how I don't have internet at my apartment (I never did, I've been pirating it, but now that's not even working) and so I can't check facebook (because it's blocked at work) so I'm getting emails up the wazoo about people sending me messages and trying to add me as a friend, but I can't do anything about it, and I have no idea how Baby Lila is doing and it's KILLING ME!!!
I could blog about the car accident I got in today on my lunch break. How a guy came out of nowhere as I was backing out of my parking spot at my apartment and how my bike rack took out his passenger window and tore chunks out of his back door and we had to swap insurance info, wait for the cops to come and get his car towed away because the fender was smashed into the tire so he couldn't drive it.
I could tell you about Kim, my coworker who called me at midnight one night from the emergency room. I drove down there to sit with her and she hasn't talked to me since then.
I could tell you about all these things that normal people blog about, but really ... I'm most concerned that I can't figure out how to get a YouTube video to post, cuz really, this is what I wanted to share: My favorite So You Think You Can Dance routine so far in the 2008 season!
All I can figure out is the link. Enjoy.

Favorite So You Think You Can Dance routine of the season!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jq-8YUHjBNQ

Utah Arts Festival takes on the twins!!!

Or, maybe I took them all on! So, I thought it would be fun to spend time with my cousin Heather's kids. Shyanne's 15, Shae's 10 and Hunter & Gavyn are 4. She also thought it would be fun for me to spend time with her kids--and give her a break! So, I decided to experience the Utah Arts Festival! I wanted to bring out the hippie in me by listening to music, making crafts, exploring fun exhibits ... probably buying jewelry (hard to break old habits). But, the boys saved me some money! We spent the entire time in the kid zone! I couldn't believe the great ideas they had for kids crafts! They had huge sculptures made of foam and tissue paper, and kids could just come on their own and add their own section! They had endless stacks of AOL trial CDs and they were having kids paint on them and then hang them from a PVC pipe jungle using pipe cleaners! (picture on the right of Hunter playing in the painted CD jungle!) Man, this stuff was cool! And a long-haired bearded hippie helped Shyanne and Shae take a popsicle stick (more like one of those wider tongue-thingies that doctors use) and glue a gord seed at the bottom of it. Then they tied some strings and beads at the top. The plan is to shove the stick (seed end first) into the dirt, and you'll grow a gord! He even had some gords in beaded nets hanging up for the kids to see!
There was a tent full of musical instruments that the kids could play with supervision (the old guy got frustrated at Hunter grabbing everything, so I decided it was time to move on!) and there were also drums, a gong, and a marimba that the kids could bang on without hurting anything! It was fun and crazy, but it all proved to be too much restriction and structure for these boys. At the end, the highlight of their evening was the few minutes I let them play (more like swim!) in the fountain, and then the stop of McDonald's Happy Meals on the way home.
Whew! How do hippies keep track of their children? It's exhausting!