Tender Mercies and Hugs from Addie

I am just starting to see the blessings of the last few weeks. I am such a stinkin' slow learner! But I am totally overwhelmed right now at how much the Lord really knows me and how much He shows me everyday. Even when I don't know I'm being guided, He is steering my course and I am SO grateful!!!

I still don't have a job. It's been a month and a half since I lost my job in Salt Lake and every morning, I still log onto at least 6 different employment websites, searching for something. I'd often wonder if I made the right decision in leaving when I did. I could have stayed at least an extra couple of weeks at my miserable job and had another paycheck or two! But honestly, the timing could not have been better. Because I came home when I did, I got to spend the next MARVELOUS week and a half with my best friend, Desirae, before she left on her mission. Desirae and I used to do EVERYTHING together and were so crazy and had so much fun! We were together in everything, but the last few years, we haven't been able to spend much time together. During a personal crisis in February of 2006, I left my apartment in Rexburg, didn't tell my roommates, skipped my classes and drove to Seattle in a snowstorm to see Des. She was the one person I knew would be there for me. That was really the last quality time we've had together. But for the week and a half before she left, we did EVERYTHING! We floated the canal, we canoed across Palisades reservoir, we played croquet, we played card games, we played with her neice and nephew at the splash park, we climbed waterfalls, we roasted marshmallows, we went shopping and we laughed A LOT! It was just like it had always been ... so much fun! And it was so great to be with her and to help her prepare for such a great journey she is making now in Tennessee. If I'd stayed at Spillman, I would have missed those priceless days with Des!

Paige, Desirae and me at Monkey Rock!

Another cool thing that's happened: I found a job with LDS Philanthropies in Provo that I applied for. It sounded so good because I fit all the requirements, the job sounded like fun, and I'd be working for the Church! (can't imagine a better employer!) But I was a little wary of moving back to Utah. I was excited for the possibility, but for some reason, I couldn't get my heart set on the job. I just wasn't into it. I thought maybe I just didn't want to get my hopes up, or I was hesitant because of my Utah prejudices ... but I was asked to do testing (which I passed with flying colors) and then I was scheduled for an interview. I drove down last Wednesday night and got to Grandma and Grandpa's house at about 10:30. If I got the job, I'd be living with them for awhile, which would be ... sort of weird. My hips and head hurt SO BAD from sitting in the car, so I went to bed. I woke up at about 6 a.m. with a killer headache. I tried to sleep it off. No luck. At about 9 a.m. I basically crawled up the stairs to Grandma's medicine cabinet. I have no luck taking Ibuprofen on an empty stomach, so I choked down half a slice of bread, but couldn't seem to gag the 2nd half down. I took the medicine and went back downstairs. Within 10 minutes, I was throwing up. Who can go to a job interview under these circumstances?! I prayed so hard that at the least, I'd be able to feel well enough to go to the interview and carry myself well enough that I would be satisfied with myself, whether or not I got the job. I was able to swallow a handful of dry cheerios, and then showered and got ready. I was so anxious from my crappy morning ... how was I going to shine and show my personality? Just as I was ready to leave, Grandma came home with my 3 year old cousin, Addison. Addie had been telling Grandma, "We have to hurry so I can give Brooke a hug before she leaves!" Addie has always been pretty shy around me, but that morning, she climbed into my arms for the best, full-body, snuggle-hug! That little girl is the closest thing to an angel that Heavenly Father sent! I could not stop smiling all the way to the interview!

And I couldn't have felt better about the interview! I'm really good at this stuff! I was funny, I was witty, I was gracious and articulate. I totally rocked that interview and it was really so much fun! I wasn't necessarily pushing for that job (while it sounded great!) but I just wanted to feel good about myself. I wanted to be able to be myself, and the Lord had helped me do that through sweet little Addison! The interviewers told me they'd call me Friday and would want someone to start work on Monday! I started to worry about having to move to Grandma and Grandpa's over the weekend and making all these changes again and I found myself dreading the phone call! I couldn't tell again if it was just nerves, but the more I thought and prayed about it, the more I felt it wasn't right. And I was actually RELIEVED when Linda called Friday to tell me that they'd chosen someone else with more experience! I couldn't have been happier because this time, I actually recognized the Lord's hand in it. It wasn't right!

So, my mom's been REALLY bugging me about going to the single's ward. I have NOT had good experiences with non-student single's wards! I just really didn't want to go. Plus, I'd felt such a prompting to get to know this woman in the family ward, and I hadn't done it yet! (that story's next!) And I couldn't go to a single's ward without first developing a relationship with Shinae! Otherwise, I'd never get the chance! And I didn't know anyone in the single's wards, they're all dull (they always are) and ... blah blah blah.
So, in sacrament meeting, we sit behind Nancy Jenkins and her daughter, whom I've never met. Nancy is the YW president and works with my mom. My mom tells me that Nancy is just hilarious and wonderful and her husband is in the branch presidency of the singles ward. Nancy's daughter, Lisa sings the musical number while Nancy plays the piano. They did "In Mercy's Arms" and it was absolutely AMAZING! I looked across the chapel and saw Shinae with her family, and she was obviously touched by the song, too. I HAD to talk to her today! After sacrament meeting was over, Nancy's daughter, Lisa turns to me and says, "Brooke! I hear you're single!" and she proceded to tell me all about the singles ward and how I should go with her and she'd kidnap me right now if I wanted to stay after and wait for her to do her visiting teaching! I told her I'd stay the rest of the meetings in the family ward but that I'd check out the singles ward next week. And she wasn't dull! And I'd have a friend there! She actually made me want to go! Tender mercy! But I couldn't leave yet, I still had to talk to Shinae!

So, Shinae. She was new to the ward when I was still working in Rexburg. She and her husband spoke in sacrament meeting and so much of what she said spoke right to me. I felt the undeniable feeling that I needed to get to know her and we were meant to be friends. (Cheesy, I know, but it's happened to me before and it's SO REAL!) But for some reason, I've always chickened out! Heck, that was months ago! Mind you, I've moved to Salt Lake and back since then! So, two weeks ago, she made some awesome comments in Relief Society and I got the distinct impression to thank her for her comments afterwards. I prayed that I would get the opportunity. But so much was riding on this! Was I supposed to tell her, "And Heavenly Father's telling me that we should be best friends!"? I mean, c'mon! So ... I chickened out after Relief Society. AND each of the six other times the Lord put us in each other's paths in the following ten minutes! I swear, she must have thought I was a weirdy because each time we'd make eye contact and I'd just smile and walk past. Oy! what a dork I am! So I prayed about it a LOT! I've got this social imbalance that I blame on my only-childness. I don't understand friendship conventions. I've been known to write letters, asking to be friends. I'm not kidding. And this really wasn't that long ago! I prayed so hard that I'd be able to handle this naturally and not resort to desperate letter writing! And guess what?! The anxiety was gone! I knew I needed to do something, but I felt it would happen naturally and I didn't have to push it!

So, yesterday at church ... I didn't go with Lisa to the single's ward. I went with my parents to Sunday School. I sat next to dad. Shinae came in later and sat next to my mom. I thought, "PERFECT! When mom and dad leave after Sunday School, I can slide over and talk to Shinae!" She left before they did. Oy! But, she came back! And came down my row, but asked another woman where she'd be sitting. I just expected Shinae to sit in that row behind me and my chance was gone. But she sat 2 seats away from me! I'm so accustomed to just staring down and trying not to acknowlege that I'm all alone and friendless that I didn't know what to do to reach out to someone next to me! I seriously thought I was going to chicken out again, but I found myself introducing myself! We got to chatting and before the meeting had even started, we decided we should call each other to do something! So, today, I am just amazed at how everything has fallen into place. Shinae and I texted each other quite a bit today, swapped blog addresses, and I've been reading her blog. I can see just a glimpse of why the Lord thought we should be friends! She is so much like me! Dang, the woman's a hippie! I love it. And I'm so excited about it all. And I'm so grateful for the role Heavenly Father plays in my life!

And I have a job interview on Wednesday! Wish me luck!!