Holding On

Song of the Day: Holding On by Cherie Call

If I had to move away, if I had to pack a box today, there some things I'd have to let go before I headed down the interstate. My favorite dress that doesn't fit anymore; And all the papers in my old desk drawer.

Bad habits, and old grudges, I'd take them all to the second hand store. But there's a list of things I'd have to take with me, no matter how long this winding road turns out to be.

I'm holding on to the Valentines, letters I've read a thousand times that say: "We believe in you. And never let go of your dreams." I'm holding on to my own backyard-- I hope that I can fit it all in my car.

When the whole world's letting go, I'll keep holding on.

You can't keep a harvest moon. It fades away all too soon. Even the trees let go of their leaves much quicker than you'd ever choose. So many people say goodbye. I see those teardrops in their eyes and I start to wonder how I'd live without love and I'm glad I'll never have to try. Cuz hardly anything lasts forever anymore. There will always be a few things I'm going to keep fighting for!

I'm holding on to my father's love and my mother's faith in God above. she says: "We believe in you; never give up on your dreams." I'm holding on to my true love's hand and I know that he will always understand.

When the whole world's letting go, I'll keep holding on.

Shooting stars and red balloons, ice cream cones and breezy Junes, I love them all, I hold them dear, but they so quickly disappear.

These are the things I'll keep with me, no matter where my life will lead me:

A loving word, a gentle kiss. I need nothing more than this!

I'm holding on to the Valentines, letters I've read a thousand times that say "We believe in you, never give up on your dreams." I'm holding on to my own backyard--I hope that I can fit it all in my car. When the whole world's letting go ...

I'm holding on to my father's love and my mother's faith in God above; she says: We believe in you, never give up on your dreams. I'm holding on to my true love's hand and I know he will always understand. When the whole world's letting go, I'll keep holding on.

I'm coming to realize more and more over the past few weeks, the things I really value in my life and the things I need to let go. Time is coming quickly for me to move on from this phase of my life that seems to be all I can remember. I haven't been ready. Rexburg has been my life for so long. All my friends have been here. I have so many great memories and great loves from this place. But the time has come, and I'm actually SO READY for it! My close friends have all left Rexburg. There are a few I want to hang on to, and the rest ... I'm sure we'll all move on and we'll be okay. I'm realizing more and more how much my family means to me. These are people who know me better than anyone else, and who love me in spite of it. No matter where I end up in life, these wonderful people will always be there. I won't lose track of them just because I move cities or states. And I've had friends that have become like family. I plan to hold on to these, too. My relationships are the most valuable thing in my life. I'm noticing that sometimes I invest too much in friendships that aren't going anywhere. I have some of the greatest friends in the world, and I need to invest more time and interest in those relationships and less in the ones that are so fleeting.

A couple weekends ago, I got to spend a few days with some of "MY girls" ... these are friends that I've perhaps neglected. But they're friends that are like family, the stick around no matter what. We hadn't all been together in over 2 years and yet it was as if nothing had ever changed. We value each other, we love each other, we support each other and try to uplift each other. We're not just friends for a short time, to have a little fun and move on. We're in each others' lives. Those are the best kind. As I leave Rexburg, and move on to the next stage of my life, these are the things I'm holding on to.

Killing Birds

So ... you know the cliche "Killing two birds with one stone"? Well, I've got more than two! The Spirit is the stone and there are dead birds everywhere!! It's wonderful! Even though it really doesn't sound so great ... It's amazing to me how Satan has power over you even when you're trying to do what's right. I've struggled a lot lately with having my heart in the right place. I've been downright CRABBY! I'm easily bugged, I have very little tolerance, and I'm overly judgmental. I don't want to feel this way! I want to be happy and tolerant and loving! It's a dilemma I've been fighting a lot lately. And in this mindset, there is NO learning and growing and all those good things that I value so much! What's even worse is that I'd been feeling anxious like this for a few days and in the midst of this, I was trying to prepare my lesson for Relief Society! I have a hard enough time teaching, but it really wasn't working with my bad attitude! I studied and prayed and had friends and family praying for me ... and something happened. I can't tell you exactly when the change occurred. I felt totally unprepared at the beginning of Relief Society, but sometime during the special musical number, I was fine. The Spirit took over. I was able to teach what I had prepared, embellish on class members' comments, teach specific points through the guidance of the Spirit. And then, after my lesson was over, I made Visiting Teaching appointments without any harsh feelings (for those of you who've lived with me, you know how hard that's been, I've always HATED Visiting Teaching!) And then in Sunday School, I sat next to a guy who normally really gets on my nerves and I had so much fun with him! And I made comments during the class and really learned some things! And then in sacrament meeting, the talks were on preparing for eternal marriage and I didn't even want to gag! I listened and actually felt the spirit of the message! When Bishop Smith asked how I was doing, I responded without hesitation "Great!" And then I wasn't even irritated when my roommates failed to tell me (after I'd waited for them) that they were staying after church to get their ecclesiastical endorsement. Instead, I gladly caught up with another guy in our ward who usually bugs me and walked home with him! THEN I even cleaned the apartment (lightly, so as not to be a Sabbath breaker!) while my roommates were at their interview! And at our Visiting Teaching conference, I talked about the girls I teach and really felt the stewardship and love for them! Lots of birds down because I was able to obtain the Spirit. I just love how this Gospel works! I love the physical change that can come over us when we seek to turn our hearts to our Savior and we seek to do His will. If we are willing, and we truly turn to Him, He will take us the rest of the way. I can attest to the enabling power of the Atonement. There's no way I would have been able to teach that lesson on my own. But the Savior can. And through the Atonement, He shares His abilities with us. If we seek to follow His commandments, He will make it possible for us. He will take our burdens upon Him. It's true! It happens! And it's amazing! And I'm really glad it doesn't literally involve dead birds. Cuz that'd be gross.

I've Been Tagged!!

I've Been Tagged by Sharon
I've been Tagged!!!
A: The rules of the game are posted at the beginning.
B: Each player answers the questions about themselves.
C: At the end of the post, the player then tags 4 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

10 years ago:

I was 15 and a sophomore in high school. I played (meaning, I sat the bench) on my JV volleyball team. I also lived and breathed high school yearbook and that was the first year I was ads/index editor. My friend Lindsay and I had a blast tormenting local businesses to advertise in our yearbook. That was the first school year that I traveled with the yearbook staff. We went to conferences and competitions in Sun Valley, Idaho and in Seattle, Washington that year. In Seattle, I learned to not look homeless people in the eye. I also learned that 7 people can sleep comfortably in 1 hotel room as long as Mr. Oliver doesn't know about it. 10 years ago was the one and only year that my best friend and I lived in the same city and got to hang out together. That was the beginning of a beautiful, long-distance best-friendship with Desirae. I also got to be really good friends with one of my young women leaders and learned that adults could be cool. ;)

5 things on my to-do list today:
1. Teach my lesson and not pass out (check)
2. Make dinner for my roommates and my friend Andrea who I'm really excited about.
3. Go to a Relief Society training meeting. (can we just pretend that I've already done that?)
4. Ask guys on dates for my roommates and the set-up date we're planning.
5. Play with a baby and my friend Andrea who's coming over (did I mention that?)

5.Snacks I enjoy

1. peanut butter
2. bread
3. bananas
4. chocolate chip cookies
5. cookie dough

What I would do if I were suddenly made a billionaire:
Pay off my credit cards and student loans, pay for my mission and Kimball's mission and Desirae's mission. Pay off my parent's debts, then make sure all my family and friends were taken care of.

5 places I have lived:
1. Rexburg, Idaho
2. Idaho Falls, Idaho
3. All over Mexico, Guatemala and Belize.
4. Vancouver, Washington
5. Provo, Utah

5 jobs that I have had:
1. Rexburg Standard Journal classifieds and legal notices
2. BYU-Idaho Grounds Crew
3. Circle of Love Tux and Bridal
4. Craigo's Pizza
5. The Haunted Mill
(hey! These jobs were all in 2007!!! Dang, I was indecisive!)

5 Things people don't know about me:

1. I have fibromyalgia and I hurt everywhere!! (my legs are in excruciating pain right now, which is why I feel inclined to talk about it)
2. When I was little, I'd go to work with my dad at the airport and I'd climb on the conveyer belt and jump over luggage. I'd also mooch off all the employees until I had enough change to buy a candy bar out of the vending machine.
3. I have no eater's remorse. If I'm hungry, I'll eat it. I don't think about the calories. When I blow up like a balloon, that's unfortunate, but I'll still reach for another cookie. Never get between the fat kid and the cookies!!
4. I really wish I could play the guitar and sing. But I can't carry a tune in a bucket. Here's my bucket, there's my tune.
5. I really like peanut butter. A LOT. I would die without it. But in September-October, I gave it up for 6 weeks to support my best friend who's on her mission. She also gave up peanut butter to support an investigator who was trying to stop smoking. It didn't work. I'm back to eating peanut butter on a daily basis.

Ok, I tag...1. Sarah 2. Heather 3. Amanda 4. Trista ( I don't have a ton of blogging friends!)

The Lord's Purposes

Many of you know I've been working towards serving a mission for YEARS now. But this time's for real. (I know I've said that before, but whatever.) So, after 7 years at BYU-Idaho, I finally got my bachelors degree. And I have a grown-up job. I'm making money, saving money, with the intent of turning in my mission papers in the next few months. I've done a lot of studying, changing and growing. A LOT. I thought the ultimate milestone was when i was called into the Relief Society presidency last year. Talk about learning to serve! If that wasn't an eye opener ... but it really got me excited. I know, i'm kind of sick for being excited about the Relief Society presidency, but it was seriously one of the most amazing and growing experiences of my life! I loved the all-day meetings that kept me focused on service and the Gospel all day long. I loved knowing my girls and coming up with new ways to teach and to serve them. I loved praying about their needs and I loved helping to extend callings. I loved the constant Spirit I felt and the stewardship I felt. I loved it all. Except teaching. I am NOT shy ... until I'm behind a podium. I hate it. I want to die. I can't form sentences, I cut myself off as soon as I get going somewhere good. (I don't want to cry in front of everyone!) But the ONE time I taught, I stumbled through the whole thing and I think everyone was relieved when it was over!! Since that semester in the presidency, I've really missed the involvement and the great purpose that I felt. I've tried to get it back. I study all the lessons and try to comment (but we're back to the stumbling-over-words-and-getting-uncomfortable-bearing-my-soul problem). So, here we are with a new semester in the BYU-I 66th ward. It's my last semester here before I get kicked out of student housing in April. I wanted to make it good. Where else in the world can you have such amazing spiritual growing experiences as in the BYUI 66th? I prayed for a calling where I could feel growth and purpose again. We needed a new Relief Society presidency, and I was actually hoping to be able to do that all over again. But the Lord knows better! We grow the most when we're forced out of our comfort zone. The first time through, the presidency was WAY out of my comfort zone. But now, I've been there, done that. Now to phase II. Today I was sustained and set apart as the 4th Sunday teacher in the Relief Society. I'm terrified!!

I don't get it.

Okay, Sarah. So I'm going to post some more because apparently that's the thing to do. But I'm still trying to figure out how we communicate on here! I'd LOVE to be able to just hit "reply" and have a sort of conversation thread ... but am I being too Facebook-minded? And then ... I've added some "friends" on my "friends list" but as far as I can tell, it doesn't send them a message to tell them I've added them as a friend! So how do these people know that I have a blog? Can I just make a general announcement? HEY EVERYONE!!! BROOKE HAS A BLOG! ... that she doesn't know what to do with. I think as a courtesy, I need to tell all my "friends" that I've added them to my "friends list." And also ... do we have to check everyone's pages all the time to see updates? Where's the "News Feed" that tell me what changes my friends have made? And where the crack is my "About me" and "Favorite quotes" section? Cuz dang, I had a good quote the other day ... now if I could only remember it ...

I'm a Lemming

Is a lemming a bird or a deer? If I use a phrase, I should probably know what it really means. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm doing this blog thing because ... well, EVERYONE is doing it! Well, not exactly everyone. As of yet, I am the only single, non-married person to ever start their own blog. Is that a little presumptuous of me? (another word that I choose to use, although I'm not sure I have the right meaning). In the past couple of months, I have received blog invitations from old roommates, cousins, friends from my childhood ... lots of people that I want to keep tabs on. Facebook has been my cyberworld, but most of that revolves around my single college friends. Now that I've graduated and don't have to worry about the student thing anymore, I'm going to see if I can maintain two cyberworlds. If I'm going to learn to create my own worlds, I've got to start somewhere!