It runs in the family ...

The last two weeks, I've had two separate family reunions.

Family dynamics always fascinate me. I absolutely love that I belong to these two very different groups of people. As an only child, I don't often feel a sense of belonging or even connection to any particular group. But, it's times like these where my quirks, characteristics and other traits are explained. I am a Silvester AND a Chapple and I'm so grateful for my roots on both sides. I've been able to admire so many of these traits in the people that I love and I thought I'd break a few of them down.

Silvester traits I exhibit:
an inability to sit still--a need to fill every spare second of the day with work or adventure--fearlessness/carlessness. We'll climb anything, jump off of anything, and we usually leave our helmets at home--impulsiveness. We don't plan. We just go. Hopefully we'll have what we need when we get there.--sarcasm. We don't have actual conversations. We rarely sit and chat and ask questions of each other. There's rarely any "catching up" time. But, we sure like to throw out random sarcastic remarks!--we stayed at the RV park for a week. I'm not sure if any of us even realized there was a big screen tv there. We're too busy for stuff like that.

Chapple traits I exhibit:
lack of filter. We're NOT shy. without shame, our conversations bounced from farting, to boobs, to giving birth to an elephant (the tusks would hurt), back to farting ... ---need for attention. We all talk over each other and try to get the focus on ourselves. When Uncle Curtis found himself alone at the table, he started in on record-breaking belches just so we'd remember he was there.-- randomness. Seriously, how DID we end up talking about giving birth to elephants?--lack of shame. There are always random, silly songs, dances, imitations happening and nobody thinks anything of it. We don't usually laugh a whole lot just because these behaviors are totally accepted and not even questioned.

I love my family and all of their quirks. I love being able to appreciate them for who they are and know that they feel the same way about me. I love spending time with them. I'm so glad I get to be with these awesome, obnoxious and lovable people FOREVER. I can't wait until the next family reunions!

I'm going to miss her

Do you ever skip bedtime and wonder if it's just too late and you've already missed it?
Maybe I'll have to wait for the next one to come around.

I'm wondering why it is that my feet go numb with cold EVERY night before I go to bed. Yes, it's July. But why is it so stinkin' freezing in this basement bedroom of mine?

It's late, and my guard is down, so I'm going to go ahead and admit that I've harbored a little bit of a girl-crush on this woman:

There's just something about her cackling, her unsteady walk, her maniacal facial expressions and her ... twirling ... that just makes me giggle. But, tonight, I watched her die. And I wasn't nearly as sad about her as I thought I'd be. Nope. Mostly because I thought it was awesome. Don't mess with Mama-Bear Molly. Bellatrix, you shoulda knowed that.

I've read ALL the HP books ... at least thrice. I know full-well what was gonna happen in this finale. Did that keep me from weeping like a silly little girl? Oh, NO. In fact, I think the anticipation made it worse. "When will I see Tonks and Lupin? Don't tell me they're going to skip the scene where Neville finishes Nagini!" Nope. It happened. All of it. And more! Anyone worried about a spoiler. I'm trying very hard not to ruin the WHOLE thing. Just parts. But I loved every minute of it! The worst/best part was when I realized that 3/4 of the characters listed on my t-shirt (Mooney, Wormtail, Padfoot & Prongs) made a final appearance to rally around Harry before they disappeared from his life forever.
So what if I'm sentimental. These guys have been some of my BFF's for like ... 10 years now!

Our YSA branch took a trip to Lava Hot Springs today. We floated the river in inner tubes. For the past few weeks, as they announced the trip, they'd caution to wear protective clothing. Last year, I took a gouge out of the back of my head. The year before, it was my knee. I considered a helmet or knee pads ... but what nobody warned me about was the need for a butt pad. Yep. It's cracked. My tailbone, that is.
I'm pretty sure I'll never be able to sit normally again. That pain may have added to the tears shed while watching Harry Potter 7.

I'd do it all again. Today was SO worth it.

Whimsy

This post was inspired by this post by my cousin Amanda who has voiced a plea for all things "whimsy."

I love this. Life is too heavy. I've been having similar thoughts and feelings and "coping methods" lately. I wish we were closer. You're right. Sharing things with friends (cousins) is much better.

My whimsy this week has come from end-of-team-huddle cheers in volleyball like "butt cheek" "marshmallow" "bunny rabbit" and a synchronized "weoimewoiavehao" when what we really wanted to say was, "make the other team mad!"

My whimsy has come from impressing myself with a tuck-and-roll-backwards somersault during ultimate frisbee. I was always so envious of people who could do that. What I didn't realize was that it's not a skill. It's the only possible action when you hit the ground with extreme force and momentum propeled by your desire to get out from under the big guy who's inevitably coming down on top of you.

Whimsy comes from realizing you're one of three girls in your entire volleyball league who still serves underhand, but claims to be a competitive volleyball player. And knowing that it's okay, because I love the game and you gotta do what it takes to get the ball over the net.

My whimsy came from sharing a 12-pack of tacos at my friends' softball game instead of going to Zumba.

My whimsy came from hiking in Palisades and maneuvering and scaling around trees and rocks to climb my usual spot, even though the whole area was being taken over by the overgrown creek.

My whimsy came from the "Kira Willey" station on Pandora where they play songs like, "There ain't no lobsters on me!"

My whimsy came from coining a new verb "turtleize." And then figuring out how to respond when Kylee says, "Prepare to be turtleized!"

My whimsy came from freezing in a parking lot with Kari because the best part of institute comes AFTER the class is over.

Like Amanda so eloquently stated: "If you’re not sure what [whimsy] is, it is anything that makes you happy and you aren’t entirely sure why. It is a bit of beauty in the middle of chaos – putting flowers on the crazy, cluttered, messy table. It is silliness when everything around you is serious. It is cupcakes for lunch and unplanned hikes and blowing dandelions on your own lawn. It is anything that is both absolutely unnecessary and urgently imperative at the same time. It is painting your nails to go to the garden and a night off when you need to work."

It's what makes this frustrating, overwhelming, crazy life worth living.

overdosed on grapes

It takes time to be witty. Who has time for wit?
Sometimes, when I'm distracted at work, I think about blogging and what I might write about. But instead, I end up eating grapes and chatting with Kristin about Geminis and nameless guys on motorcycles. Those also deserve attention.
It's all cloudy and rainy outside. Know what that means? Softball could very well be canceled tonight, but Brooke and Gina are in New York, so there's no one to pass that information on.
Tonight's our last volleyball game of the season before tournament starts next week. It's been an AWESOME season! Last year's women's league was rough. (Girls can be fickle, no matter what their age!) And I was really hesitant to do it all over again. But I'm so glad I did. These girls are so much fun to play with. We've even won a few games! And we have wicked awesome team t-shirts. Why haven't I been bringing my camera to games? I really hope to remember it tonight. Oh, and we're going to win tonight. Yessiree, we are!
This weekend was my birthday. I was actually trying to pretend it wasn't happening. (my whole life, I've been convincing myself that the world DOES revolve around me on that day, and most years, I've felt special enough to believe myself!) This year, I knew that wasn't happening. My parents were out of town. Brooke, Gina, Jamie, Kylee, Keri, Jeanna, Willie were out of town. Many friends and family LIVE out of town. I was abandoned. Does this sound like the world revolved around me that day? I sure didn't think so.
But guess what? My birthday DID happen. And it really was a lot of fun. Zumba with good friends, a lonely 28 mile bike ride complete with sunburn and sore bum. Then, a bunch of in-town friends and I piled into vehicles to head to West Yellowstone to Playmill. I love that place. I love that I know people there. I love that after all these years, it still kinda feels like home.
It was a great place to be on the day that wasn't mine--but kind of ended up being mine, anyway.

How to report a tragedy ...

Police Identify Shooter, Women Killed In Ammon - Local News Story - KIFI Idaho Falls *

Seriously, I've tried 27 times to figure out what to say and how to share what's been going on in our neighborhood the past few days. I feel like I have no right to say anything at all. All I know is what I've read and seen on the news. How sad is it that this happened on my own street, inside my bubble, and yet, I've got no more of a personal connection to it than any of you?

They lived across the street and three houses down. I'm super anxious and conflicted about the whole situation, and yet, I have no right to have any feelings at all about this. I didn't know them. I honestly, didn't even notice there was a house there. What right have I to be upset? What right have I to have had a frenzy-filled temper tantrum kind of day on Friday because I didn't know how to cope with this? What right have I to even need a way to cope?

Other than the opinion that this isn't supposed to happen in my world. This is the reason I stopped watching CSI. I don't want to hear about stuff like this. It just shouldn't happen! This isn't entertainment. This is tragedy in its truest form. But I can't change the TV channel on this one. It went down in my own front yard. I'm not requesting to be sheltered. I just hate that stuff like this happens--anywhere. I'm in a freaking frenzy because I don't understand what to make of this happening.

UN-REAL, Ammon, Idaho.

*I keep trying, but I just can't link the Post Register stories in my blog post. Apparently the online version is for subscribers only and there's NO way around that, even for the girl who does their layouts. So, you get the sub-par, Local News 8's version. But, if you haven't yet, I'd suggest you look at the PR coverage in today's paper

Snow boots in the Springtime

Today's branch temple day. It's a stark contrast to last week's temple day. Last week came in the form of regret and anxiety and a bit of self-loathing.
This week's comes with optimism, hope, impatience, disorientation, stale gum and hot feet. (who decided to wear leather boots on a warm spring day?)
I still don't have a car. Today's Wednesday work loud went rather smoothly. That means I'm here at work, having finished my day's tasks, biding time until Kari picks me up to bring me to the temple. I asked her on Sunday for a ride, not remembering that Bethany actually works downstairs. She's temple-ing today, too and could easily bring me there with her. Oh well. It'll be a fun excuse for a brief one-on-one with Kari.
One-on-one is my favorite way to be. Big groups of fun friends are great and all, but I love the INDIVIDUAL-ness. I'm already going to miss the parking lot carpool/ one-on-one time. That's what we all are. No one of us is a group. Flashing through my mind now are references to "ministering to the one" along with "my name is Legion; for we are many."
I'm trying my darnedest not to be desperate, but I fail. The definition of desperate is checking my email every 2 minutes. It's been three days--no response. Hold on. Lemme check again. Nope. Still nothing. Dang you, iPhone for making this desperation too convenient. How is it that I've built two separate relationships with the same person: One via email and phone; the other, face-to-face? I'm still waiting for that email to clarify what could have been discussed in person. Twice.
I'm grateful for priesthood blessings and dads who give them. I'm grateful for scriptures that read differently when you're needing that kind of direction. I'm grateful for headphones and BYU devotionals while I enter advertising tickets at work. I'm grateful for guidance and direction.
I'm craving application.
I'm also thinking fondly of these guys.

The anti-birth control. After screaming-ball-throwing-kid-at-volleyball, I've needed a perspective adjustment. I guess all kids aren't horrible. Maybe I could get me some, after all. But if they act anything like me, I'm leaving them with Grandma.

Icing on the cake

I feel like I've gone overboard in this blogging world, lately. But, it seems that there's so much going on, and at the same time, so little. We all know I'd come up with PLENTY to say, but it's not usually stuff y'all would want to read about. And a whole lot of it is stuff I'd rather not post. So, I haven't. But I'm gonna.
Truthfully, I've gone overboard in a LOT of areas lately. This week has just piled icing and sprinkles onto the cake. Why in the world would anyone ever use cake and "icing on the cake" as an example for loads of stuff gone wrong? Maybe the phrase wasn't intended to be used in the negative spectrum.
The "cake" is something HUGE in my world that continues to rise up and torture me time and time again. I'm not gonna tell you about it. But the icing? Well, the icing AND the sprinkles have threatened to take me down this week. Let's just say that the "cake" already had a really good start and only needed a little help.

• I'm OVERWHELMED at work. Things are just crazy. I feel bombarded on all sides, every department needing something from me and it all happens at the same time. I'm really good at multitasking, which is a MUST, and I'm even okay with redundancy (because, no matter how hard I work one day to get everything done, I will almost ALWAYS end up re-doing something the next day.) But I'm fine with all of that. In fact, I'm really good at it! Now, one department wants to add a process that dumps a LOAD of extra work in my lap (they seem to think it's a super easy process. It's not.) I'm trying to tell them the best way to make it all happen--since it's all on my plate, and they seem to think I'm asking too much. Really? I'm even okay taking that on, because I'm the hub that brings so many of our newspaper processes together. What I'm NOT okay with?--My intense level of responsibility is NOT reflected in my pay. So many people depend on me. I can't take a day off. I can't even take a potty break on some days. I'm drowning and I'm getting paid in peanuts! So, I finally spoke up this week. Know what I got? A freaking iPhone. I feel like a sell-out. I don't even know how to use the stupid thing. I can't take that to the bank. And, I actually just got a new phone about a month ago. It was simple. I liked it. On this iPhone, I can't even get my Mufasa ringtone as my text message tone. It's deleted my contacts list twice now. My picture of Baby Rigdon is gone. I'm not impressed. And again--can't take that to the bank!
• There's kind of a BIG reason I need something to take to the bank right now. My Captain is on his death bed. Last week, we put in a significant chunk of change on new tires and a new steering ... something. Then, I drove him to Utah and back. Apparently he didn't like that. We're now looking at a new engine. The plan was to put him on a trailer and drag him down to Uncle Bob's shop in Provo. (Yes, we were JUST there.) Dad's Durango was going to drag him back. The Durango fell sick on Friday. This was the same day dad lost his wallet with cash and gift cards that can't be replaced. We're down to 2 cars in a 3-person family and we all get to play musical cars all week. I may be hitch hiking.
• While in Utah, I found out a dear friend of mine has been STRUGGLING and I can't do anything about it.
• I played like CRAP at volleyball Monday night. The team we should have beat CREAMED us. 
• The phone case I bought for my iPhone was actually made for an iPod. It doesn't fit. 
• My boss wants me to give her my old phone. But it's still got all my contacts. And it's my alarm clock. My iPhone doesn't have one--at least that I can find. I need to keep this. It's MINE!
• I've been breaking out like CRAZY. Zits everywhere. Thank you, skin, for putting my insecurities out there for the world to see. I'm pretty sure paper bags are against my work dress code.
• Shin splints.
• The strap on my new grown-up purse broke. I was just starting to like that thing.
• I may have had a bit of a breakdown on Wednesday. (What constitutes a full-fledged breakdown?)
• I had an AMAZING friend on the other end of the phone who was so willing to talk to me. But I wouldn't/couldn't. I'm a pro at beating around the bush. We talked about "flour" and "eggs" and "sugar", but I just couldn't bring myself to bring out the whole "cake". I really need a good purge, but I shut down. I want to talk about cake. But, so many people don't like cake. If only I had donuts instead.

This guy has great insight:

Everyone is tested. One might think it is unfair to be singled out and subjected to a particular temptation, but this is the purpose of mortal life—to be tested. And the answer is the same for everyone: we must, and we can, resist temptations of any kind.