no money for Chippendale dancers

Last night, my mom threw a temper tantrum--and boy did it look familiar.
You can ask Gina. I've been known to throw my share--usually when I'm hungry and have no patience to figure out what to eat.

Mom's temper tantrum had ALL of the necessary components for a real good grown-up temper tantrum.
It started off with a scowl, and then out of nowhere, her Sudoku puzzle book went flying across the room, immediately followed by her mechanical pencil and the shout, "I hate Sudoku! It's sooo hard!"
And then the whining started.
"I already did all the easy ones and I can't do the hard ones!"
"I have a headache."
"Don't look at me! Stop laughing!"
"I want my mom!" (when I responded, "She doesn't want you. You're being naughty.") "I KNOW!!"
"I don't want to work tomorrow!"
"Dad's going on a campout and he didn't leave me any Chippendale money for the dancers ... I don't have any dollars!"
"I went to get a cupcake at work and it had a HAIR on it!" And then I got the story of the hairy cupcake.
I offered some suggestions of MY favorite things to do on a bad day. HUGE VETO.
"I don't WANT to watch Harry Potter! Stupid, stupid, stupid."
"Even the dog doesn't want to be with me! She asked to go outside an hour ago!"
"My sister loves me. I want my sister!"
And then when I went in for a hug to make her feel better:
"Get away from me! You smell like Zumba!"
We went another round about how she can't do the hard Sudoku puzzles and she's already done all the easy ones. I tried her help her by throwing her books into the fireplace. But we have a gas fireplace and they just bounced off the glass. Then she got mad at me for "destroying" her books. 
I reminded her that she's not allowed to have PMS anymore. They cut out her "girl parts" last year.
"Oh. Okay. I'm fine, then." And she calmed down and smiled.
That was short-lived.
Soon she stood up and went off on how she's "not allowed to do ANYTHING because I don't have any girl parts!!" Complaining about being suppressed and having to live up to too many rules.

Man, it was really funny to be on the receiving end of this! All she was missing was a full-body melt-down to the floor and possibly some crawl-stomping up the stairs.
And she failed to finish the end of her rampage with: "Our pets heads are falling off!"

But still--I learn from the best.