I need a buddy

All of my buddies are gone. And I'm feeling that loss rather significantly lately.

It used to be that I'd have someone wondering when I got off work so we could play. Now, I feel as if I could stay here forever and no one would notice. It used to be that I'd have someone saving me a seat to sit with them at church. Now, if I'm late, I end up sitting next to "guy-who-sniffs-a-lot." It used to be that I would pick a buddy up and take her with me to the ward activity, so we'd know we had a buddy there. Now, I show up alone and hope that I can tag along awkwardly with somebody who's there.

My current "buddies" are fair-weather friends. If the event sounds promising, or if they don't get a better offer, then sure. They'll hang out with me. But I have to make the contact and plans and then wait and wait for a commitment that often changes at the last minute. It used to be that we never needed plans. We just knew that we'd always have someone to hang out with. "What are WE going to do tonight?" Never, "I haven't talked to you in awhile. How've you been?" Because we KNOW how we've been. Because we've been it together.

It used to be that when I needed to buy shampoo or milk, I'd have a buddy at the store with me. And we'd usually end up with ice cream, because that's what happens when you need shampoo.
It used to be that when it was a nice day outside, we were out in it. On bikes, in canals (or both). It used to be that when I had a bad day and didn't call or text, my buddy would know within the hour and she'd be calling or texting or hugging or all three because sometimes all three is necessary.

When I'm hungry, my buddy would say, "Let's check out that new Thai place!" Or "I'll order for you. [to waiter] 'Brooke doesn't like onions.'" Because my buddy knows me. And she knows that I don't like onions.

My buddy would say, "Try this on. It'll look good on you!" and then sometimes, "I'll buy it and you can borrow it." because she knows I can't afford it. My buddies would go asparagus hunting with me, and then try to figure out how the crap we're supposed to cook it. Together. Buddies laugh when I drop yet another camera in the lake and then they help me put it in the oven (like that EVER works.) My buddies would come with me to play in the lakes.

My buddy would knock on my bedroom door and ask, "Naked?" and then come in without waiting for an answer. My buddy would sit on the couch for hours having "life conversations." The kind that usually required some tears, lots of hopes, dreams, regrets and encouragement. My buddies wouldn't change the subject when I brought up something sensitive. My buddies cared about what was important to me because I was important to them. My buddies shared testimony and weaknesses because in sharing, we can support and become stronger. My buddies sought that strength and offered it, too. Sometimes those "life conversations" get silly, and that's fun, too. Actually, that's the best way for them to all end up. Because life is to be enjoyed.

I appreciate that some buddies move on. They find other buddies that offer more eternal connections. I love this. I love those triumphs and happinesses and I am so so happy for them. We keep in touch and remember those times that meant so much. Times when we told each other important things and when we laughed about this or that.
I just wish I didn't keep falling through the cracks.

Over-doing it is fun to do--tra la la la la la!!

So, I just read Gina's blog and realized that I need to be better at posting about the stuff that's going on in my life! Because really ... there's LOTS of it and I'm sure you're all SO curious. So, my dear friends, I will attempt to oblige a bit more than I have.This weekend was fabulous! And maybe by "weekend," I'm starting with Thursday. Some friends and I (Kylee, Aaron, Mikan, Ryan, Shayna, Joe, Skyler, Carl and Marinda) played a little wild-goose-chase volleyball. The goose chase part came in when the building we thought we had scheduled wasn't really scheduled, so we drove to the building we had keys for to find a wedding reception set-up, then drove back to the original un-scheduled building to meet Bev with the keys to the net closet. After the chase, we were joined by Willie and Araby and played a couple hours of GOOD volleyball. I love the kind of play you get when you're all friends and happy to be together and we're okay being silly, but we're good enough to keep a competition going. That kind of play is what we enjoyed on Thursday.

On Friday, I met up with my dear Kylee and walked around the Idaho Falls greenbelt. TWICE. We're hard-core, folks! I love my walk-and-talks with this girl. And it's always fun to run into the frequent high school girls holding hands (this was the 2nd set we've encountered at the GB and Kylee doesn't like it when I try to follow their trend). We also found the gangstas and their pit bulls who were all pulling on leashes ready to bite Kylee's face off. (she was sure of it)

After our walk, I had this STELLAR idea for a nacho/Nacho night. That's right, baby. Nachos from Bajio, then home to watch Nacho Libre. I'd never seen the movie, but I've been quoting it for months, mostly due to the fact that I can't hang out with people without quote/accent transfer. I've picked up lots of this movie from Kylee and Wade. Before the evening's events commenced, I needed to stall to give Kylee time to "run her errand" and I wanted to work up more of an appetite. No better way to do this than to go on one of these:

Yep. Roommate night! Ky couldn't join us for nachos, but we enjoyed them as well as possible without her. 

Then... home for a little of this:

and some "kiss my what?":

And a lot of this! Oh dear. Hahaha!

Good laughs!

Saturday, I met up with some old time favorites from Greenbrier. The intention was for us to get to know Kimball's fiancee, Dave, and for him to get to know us. This plan backfired when we were forced to take two cars to accommodate all 7 adventurers. But, we were still able to laugh and climb and hike and sweat together. That's bonding, right? 

Kimball and I enjoyed freezing our toes off and I resisted pushing Alison in the water. For those of you who don't know (how can you know me and not know this?) I have an irrepressible urge to push over anyone who squats. This girl was just asking for it.

After coming home from the hike, I went on my own little 6 mile bike ride to make sure I was REALLY good and worn out. Hey, if I'm going to do it, I gotta do it RIGHT!

And the spent energy made it much easier for me to relax and focus on Stake Conference both Saturday night and Sunday. Let me just end this post by saying how thankful I am for the Lord's anointed and their guidance and inspiration for us. I know the Lord is aware of my needs, my questions and concerns and I love the answers and guidance I received through this conference. Change is hard, but it's so good when you know that what you're doing is right. I'm grateful for these leaders and their messages who help show us the way.

How short are those shorts?

Things I'm looking forward to this summer:

wearing out my Tevas

showing off my sparkle toes and then upgrading to a new color

4-wheeling dirt beards

losing my sunglasses

new playlists on my Mp3 player--much more Angels and Airwaves 

and much less Ingrid Michaelson

peeling a leech off my skin 

birthday party at Uncle Tom's cabin 

WITHOUT Seth getting hypothermia

beating Skyler in a cake-eating contest

nighttime canal swims (with or without proper swimwear)

coining a new phrase and watching it spread like wildfire-- 

"I'll take a rip at that" ... or perhaps something more clever

wearing orange at Kimball's wedding

attending G.O. Speech Therapy softball games

paying more attention to Kylee and Keri than to the actual game

Havasupai

washing clothes just above a 5 million foot waterfall 

"Oops! There goes my sock."

hot dates with Shmarah

wearing my birthday pants out in public

getting better at picture-taking and photo editing

falling into the creek/river/lake

guests sleeping on our couch (who will it be?)

walk and talks

buying handmade jewelry

Caribbean Jerk chicken that doesn't leak onto my shorts

learning to spell Caribbean on the first try

mosquito repellant

singing along at Uncle Hal's summer concerts

testing out how waterproof my camera really is

discovering again how waterproof my phone isn't

Mama Lisa's homemade peach ice cream

introducing someone to the movie Now and Then 

and discussing how perfect summers were for kids back then

riding my bike with no hands

improving my posture

making whistles out of blades of grass with friends 

and maybe doing a few backwards somersaults

game nights and night games (or dusk games and game dusks)

defining my watch tan line

railroad tracks

getting water up my nose

beach party in Idaho where there are no beaches

earning new scars

wearing dandelions in my hair

I don't like Susan's almond puffs

I don't like my coworker's almond puffs. But the woman is a self-proclaimed gourmet chef and those are her specialty. Everyone else seems to LOVE them. I can't figure out why. They're GROSS. But, I'm the oddity. That got me thinking. There are a LOT of scenarios like this in my life. Things I like or don't like that are outside of the majority ... quirks that I have that I can't really explain ... here are a few others that have come to mind.

I HATE shopping carts. I won't touch them. I'll use a basket if it's available, but they have no baskets at WinCo. This helps me limit impulse buys, as I have to stack and balance everything I'm buying on top of my box of Crispix (which I purchase, whether I need it or not, because it creates a good base.) If I need both milk AND juice in the same trip, I'm hosed. So far, this method has worked for me. I know I'll eventually be in trouble if I'm grocery shopping for a family, but that's what husbands are for, right? He'll have to push the cart.

I hate remote controls. We lost ours when I was about 7. We never replaced it. I'm much more content getting up and changing the channel on the TV. Those things are complicated. Channel surfing is a BIG pet peeve. I hate getting into a show (or even a commercial) and my roommate changes it. We have 3 remotes at my house right now. I can't work them. My roommates have to help me out every time NCIS comes on. I panic.

I spit in the shower. I think I already wrote about this. In Mexico, I was trained to not ingest the water. It became a habit. Shower water is not welcome in my mouth!

I can't have naked wrists. My wrists are SCRAWNY and weak-looking. Some may call that small-boned and elegant, but I see wussy. I have to cover them. Plus, jewelry is fun. I have a killer tan line on my left wrist because I NEVER go without my watch. And lately, I've had a thing for keeping 4 bracelets on my right wrist. I think it's fun! Tacky, and mismatched, but fun!

Speaking of tacky, I can't do "elegant." Up hair-do's, wearing black and white, shiny jewelry, high heels, crisp lines ... I can't do any of that. I try and I kind of panic. I need to throw in a crazy scarf or even a pair of Tevas to throw it off.

One thing that makes me happier than it should are SHORT fingernails. It's a GOOD day when I can chop my fingernails down to the skin. I love them short. I love when I can type without my nails getting in the way. Fingernails are GROSS. I don't want them.

I don't understand hair products. I don't even own hair spray, mousse, gel ... nothing. I wouldn't know what to do with it. It's all too high-maintenance for me.

I'm not taking advice from song lyrics

I LOVE music. I get song stuck in my head and they play over and over again. They speak to me. So often, I'll find a song that says exactly what I'm feeling. They're words to live by. Sometimes, I've even had confirmations/answers come to me through a song that comes on the radio. That's not always the case. I've got some things on my mind, and a really good song came on my music playlist that grabbed my attention. I looked up the lyrics. I don't want to take that advice. Sometimes the lyrics miss. But I still love them. Here are a few one-liners that have spoken to me recently:

I have confidence in SUNSHINE!
How beautifully blue the sky, the glass is rising very high, continue fine, I hope it may, and yet it rained but yesterday
I wished I loved Jesus the way my wife does
I've got a golden chance to make my way
More patience in suffering, more sorrow for sin
Sunshine, I'd really like to tell you
there ain't no talkin' to this man, he's been trying to tell me so
it's so beautiful when the boy smiles, wanna hold him. Maybe i'll just sing about it.
it's a cold and it is a broken Hallelujah
one small sideways look and I feel so ungood
I can cry in front of you 'cause you're not afraid to face my weakness
Besides what you see, I have confidence in me!
I'm always going to want to blow your mind
when Earth collides with all the space between
I can feel so ignorant for someone of sound mind
lies will lock you up with truth the only key
I'm only here for awhile but patience is not my style. And I'm so tired and I gotta go.
I never thought my life could be anything but catastrophe but suddenly I begin to see a bit of good luck for me.
So give me your hand and let's jump out the window.

I need a big sister

I've been nominated

So, this blog was just nominated by my dear roommate's blog http://theginabean2.blogspot.com/

What an honor, because I'm kinda sure she rocks the blogging world. Which is why I'm gonna nominate her BACK! (that makes for double-nomination, since someone else had to nominate her to even start this whole cycle. Gina, does that mean you gotta do it again?)

So, apparently because Gina thinks I'm "... random and says it like it is. And I like that." I gotta now nominate 7 blogs that I love and then share 7 random facts about me. This, I can do.

#1 The aforementioned Ginabean. And not just because she nominated me, nor because she's my roommate and I'm trying to do a good deed by her, but because she's also pretty dang random herself. She puts her own voice into every post. And I love the world as shared through Gina's voice.

#2 The Turleys. I'm pretty sure Spencer doesn't do much posting, but that Kylie girl is so stinkin' cute! She's an amazing photographer, with a fun positive style and view of life! AND she's a triplet which adds a whole new level of adorable and amusing.

#3 kylie.brianne. There may be a theme of the Kylie's. If my friend Kylee had a blog, I'm sure hers would be on this list, too. But, Kylie Brianne is my cute, senior-in-high-school cousin who's a flippin' artist-of-all-trades. Even her whines are artful.

#4 then there's Enlarged to Show Detail. I started following this blog to keep tabs on my old roommate's infant niece's battle with a brain tumor. Now, that infant is a thriving, cancer-free toddler. Truthfully, I don't know her parents all that well. But, her mama, Annie is hilarious and I still love to stalk them and read her unique take on things. Oh, and that Lila girl is A-freaking-dorable.

#5 Another almost-stranger's blog happens to belong to Annie's best friend, Valerie, who seems to be pretty Smart for a Girl. She's a New York-y type with an LDS-liberal-marathon-runner-thespian-candy-craving and FRESH perspective.

#6 The Grovers. I've known Andrea since CTR-6's, (wasn't it Star-6's back then?) and Seth since 8th grade PAWS class. Now they have three offspring. They're nerds and they're funny about it. That's why we love them. That's why we've ALWAYS loved them.

#7 MattandAmanda what's not to love about a super pregnant, tree-hugging, homemade ketchup-making sarcastic cousin? And then throw her bird-watching husband and a toddler named "Silvester" into the mix. Can't top that.

#6

So, now I'm supposed to list 10 random facts about me. Here goes:

I can’t figure out the neighborhood watch signs. My whole life, I’ve had a hard time identifying the dark shape. Is it a rabbit? Is it a duck? Is it a beautiful young woman or an old hag? Those things I recognize! But that neighborhood watch guy … I mean really, He kinda looks like a cross between the Cookie Monster and PacMan. Note: I’ve never actually looked at one of these signs for longer than the 1.7 second glance as I drive past, but still … what is that?

I can’t ingest shower water. Even since I did study abroad in Mexico, Guatemala and Belize, and they warned us of the joys of Monteczuma’s revenge, I’ve taken this precaution. When my face is directly in the stream of water, I make sure to exhale the whole time, so no water can make its way in. Even then, I spit a LOT in the shower to make sure none of it makes its way inside me. I know my Idaho shower isn’t likely to make me sick, but it’s a habit I can’t seem to break.

My brain holds onto things. Most often, it holds onto the song "I've got a Golden Ticket" from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. There’s something annoying about my brain and memorizing. Some stuff just doesn’t leave. Thank you, Mrs. Bateman, my 8^th grade English teacher for making us memorize the entire list of prepositions. About, above, across, after, against, along, among, around, at, before, behind, below, beneath, beside, besides, but, by, concerning, despite, down, during, except, for, from, like, near, of, off, on, onto, over, past, since, through, till, to, toward, under, underneath, until, with, within, without.

When I was younger, I was a well-loved babysitter for many families in our ward. I was busy every weekend, and many week nights watching kids. Some of my close friends from those days were the mothers of these kids, and I’m still in touch with many of them. Babysitting was my life growing up, and I loved playing with those kids. That’s all changed. Now, I can’t handle children. They drive me crazy. I’ve gotten old and I don’t want to play with them like I used to. I don’t have the patience for their CONSTANT need for attention! They’re not my kids, why should I have to be involved with their every demand? I really hope this changes when I’m ready for my own family; because I DO want my own family.

I LOVE riding my bike. I’ll go on 20-something-mile bike rides at least once a week when the weather’s good. In middle school and high school, I’d clock 20 miles a day just cruising the neighborhood and am a pro at riding with no hands, carrying things, standing up … all that fun stuff. BUT, I was a slow learner. I’m pretty sure I had training wheels until I was 7. I remember my friend’s 4-year-old brother making fun of me. Austin Hoopes was a little bully.

I’ve got a thing for water. I love rivers, lakes, streams, and climbing on rocks in them. I seriously can’t stay away. I think it’s gotta be some sort of sport to see how far upstream I can get just by going from rock to rock. I’ve fallen in a few times. Some of those rocks are farther apart than they look and kind of slippery. Because of my love for natural bodies of water (it’s more than a coincidence that my name is Brooke, by the way) I’ve lost various electronics to water. Not LOST-lost. Just … drowned. Rivers and lakes have claimed the lives of 3 cameras and two cell phones. I now have a waterproof camera. I need to spray my phone with scotch guard.

I have two rings on my fingers at all times. One of them I got from Playa del Carmen, Mexico on my birthday in 2004. It’s made of Taxco silver (we spent a few days in Taxco, where it was mined and it claimed a small piece of my heart) and dyed opals. The opals are lime green and royal blue. Classy, eh? It’s on my left index finger and has molded to my finger. It only comes off occasional during a volleyball game. The other ring is sterling silver with a horizontal oval attached. Engraved on the oval is some sort of wannabe Quiksilver triangle logo thing. I say it’s a mountain because I love mountains. I bought it at least 4 years ago at a craft/artisan bazaar in Midway, Utah. I bought it for my right pinky finger, but spent two hours while watching Roman Holiday with my cousins squeezing it onto my right ring finger. I haven’t been able to get it off since.