Absolute Adjectives: Best?

So ... I've been a little confused lately about degrees.

Elder Oaks said: "There were three degrees of quality: good, better, and best. We have to forego some good things in order to choose others that are better or best because they develop faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and strengthen our families."
Dallin H. Oaks, “Good, Better, Best,” Liahona, Nov 2007, 104–8
But, there are several "good" things ... and probably fewer "better" things ... but is there only one "best"? Who's to say that one "best" isn't just as good as another? And who's to say that you can't choose multiple "bests" and still forego the things that get in the way, that may only be "good"? How do we truly define the one and only "best"?

I've researched a bit into absolute adjectives. You can't be "more perfect" ... something's either perfect, or it's not! Yet, Jefferson wrote the Constitution of the United States "in order to form a more perfect union." So, if Jefferson can say it, why can't we? If there can be a "more perfect," then, I believe there's such a thing as multiple "bests".

Then there's "more unique."
"Unique" is a word that means "unlike any other." Someone or something can either be incomparable (unique) or like someone or something else (not unique). People and things cannot be "very unique" or "more unique" than others. Colloquial speech has developed an alternate meaning of "unique" - "unusual," which is not absolute and can therefore be modified in a comparative manner. However, this usage is not acceptable in standard written English and formal speech. --I can't properly cite this. Joelle found it for me, but didn't give me the source!

But what about when it comes to "Best Friends"? I have friends that I love! I have so many favorite memories, that they've stopped being favorites! (Is "favorite" another qualified word that I need to define?) When I was younger, I always wanted a best friend! Everyone around me always seemed to be partnered up, and I was always a third wheel! I had a "Best Friend" club when I was nine with Heidi Lewis and Melanie Fullmer. We had the necklaces and the matching ... whatever. One day in seventh grade, Melanie Gray and I spent an afternoon together at the mall, and ended up with "Best Friend" rings. Elissa Owens and I had a summer or two with our "Best Friend" notes and adventures. When I was that young, I'd take whatever best friend would have me! I still played and had fun with Lindsay, Andrea, Lauralynn, Krystal, Shantel, Amanda, Nicole, Melissa, Marianne, Tammy, April ... but I'd always looked for that "pairing off" of a best friend!

Brooke & Des

When Desirae came along, we got that. We did EVERYTHING together! The first year we were friends, we were both put through some crazy-rough experiences that bonded us together like glue. Because we went through them together, we learned how to talk, support and share. We explored together and had a lot of adventures, and we still share those good times, even though we're lucky to see each other a few times a year. Desirae has been around the longest and we've really come to rely on each other.

Brimball

So, was I betraying Desirae as my "best friend" when Kimball came along in college? Kimball and I practically shared a brain. We didn't have to explain ourselves, we always knew what the other was thinking and we were able to follow through with the jokes! Kimball was the first to make me feel wanted individually. Everywhere we went, she'd look for me and be by my side. We really enjoyed each others' company and found that we completed each others' senses of humor! Everything was funny with Kimball. We just couldn't get enough of spending time together! We'd play and do things, but most of all, we'd laugh! Kimball hated the term "best friend" because she thought it was a declaration of ownership. We'd never use the term until one day, we were talking and it just slipped out! "I don't know how it happened, but you've become my best friend! You're sneaky like that!" I know the term "best" means there should only be one. But, Desirae has not been replaced! These two "bests" fill different parts of my life! Can't I have more than one best friend?

Me and Shinae

Both Desirae and Kimball are on missions now, and I have a new "best friend." Shinae and I started calling each other our best friends after only knowing each other a week or two. Shinae's "childhood best," Breanna, will never be replaced, as Desirae and Kimball won't be in my own life. But Shinae's sitting pretty with her title of "best friend" in my life! Shinae and I jumped in head first and shared more in the first 1-2 weeks of knowing each other than I think I've ever shared with anyone else in my life. We've come to count on that communication. We've struggled a bit because it's been so intense and seemingly pressured, but we've been able to talk through that, too! Shinae's my supportive, communicative and influencial best friend.
I am so grateful for these three BESTS in my life! They're not in any sort of rivalry. I don't agree that "best" in an absolute adjective. These three are all bests for different reasons, for the different values they add to my life, and for the roles they all play in my happiness, completion, and helping me become a better person.
“Oh, how we need each other. Those of us who are old need you who are young. And, hopefully, you who are young need some of us who are old. It is a sociological fact that women need women. We need deep and satisfying and loyal friendships with each other.”
In Virginia H. Pearce, ed., Glimpses into the Life and Heart of Marjorie Pay Hinckley (1999), 254–55.
I've done tributes to my three best friends on my sidebar. I intend to keep them all there for awhile. They each deserve that special place and that recognition!

Clearing up Ambiguity

So, my friend Sarah has informed me that I've been hinting at a lot of stuff without ever clarifying. I didn't realize that I was being misleading until she started asking me questions about kissing!

I've been sharing a lot of thoughts and insights without shedding any light on actual events or applications. So, just to keep you all informed, here's a summary of what's been going on in Brooke's world:

Through Shinae, I've learned a lot about friendships and supporting and uplifting each other. I've studied and gained a strong testimony of doing the right things for the right reasons. I love the sociality we have and the call we have in the Gospel to bear one anothers' burdens. I've seen how good and righteous friendships can help us grow. I've been truly grateful for the things I've learned and for the fellowship I feel in my life with this kind of friendship. As I've referenced "relationships" in my previous blogs, this is usually what I've been referring to.

As for "dating" relationships, there's nothing to report. I have close guy friends that I knew in Rexburg, and I've actually spent some time with Richard, Gary and David all recently. Don't get your hopes up. Nothing's happening. And on a few occasions, I've been really bothered by them! I'm still looking.

I've started attending the singles' branch in my stake. The very first Sunday I was there, my name was submitted to be a Relief Society instructor. I was sustained today. That was the calling I held in Rexburg right before I left. I learned to enjoy it there, and I hope to get to that point here as well. I'm excited, actually! The ward is different from what I'm used to (don't get your hopes up in the dating department with this one!) but they're good people, and I'm keeping an open mind concerning my involvement with the ward. I'm excited to be called to serve and look forward to the development and growth that I know will come from this calling!

I'm currently unemployed. I was met with a few snags with my previous job, and I find myself perusing the Help Wanted ads again. This has been a point of frustration, but seems to be a part of my life as of late. I look forward to the day when I won't have to look for a job for a long time! I'm getting SO tired of this!

I'm still living at my parents' house with no hope of moving out anytime soon.

We're going to Portland!!! This seriously, has become a HUGE matter of excitement! In a week and a half, Shinae and I will take off for 3-4 days of west coast fun! She's leaving McKylla and Abby with Alan, and it'll just be a girls' weekend! And the purpose of this trip?! Here it is, Ashley: We're going to an Alanis Morrisette concert! Now, most of you may laugh. Honestly, I don't blame you. I thought I'd outgrown my Alanis stage several years ago. I've continued to enjoy her music, but never thought I'd be going to her concert! But Shinae introduced me to her latest albums. Shinae loves Alanis and has helped plant that seed again in me as well. Ashley mentioned Alanis Morrisette on her blog recently and I nearly died laughing! I'm glad you like her, too! ;-)

This is one of my FAVORITE pictures of all time!

This is me with Shinae, Abby and McKylla

at a fall festival of sorts in Idaho Falls.

It snowed!

Photo Tagged

D just tagged me! (I never called you Diane when we lived together, why should I now?) For this tag you find the 5th folder in your pictures, pick the 5th picture in that folder and blog about it. D's picture was of her son in a Santa suit. Mine has a similar theme ... except these are roommates. And they're Christmas pajamas! Coralyn's grandma sent her these pajamas in the mail. They were HUGE, so she got Kristin to fit in there with her! After this picture, the rest of us found Christmas pajamas and we had a whole roommate P.J. photoshoot! This is indicative of the many fun times I had at BYU-Idaho with roommates. I'm happy to have moved on, but I still miss those times and just being silly! I've lived with probably half of my blogging friends, so you guys share the same crazy memories that I have! I actually think I have some fun pajama pictures of Ashley, Lara, Sharon, Susan, Jenny and D! That'll be another post. Yay for pajama parties and silly roommates! I love you guys!!

For now, I tag Shinae, Sarah H., Trista, Andrea and Pauline.

Things I care about:

I have seen so many posts about McCain versus Obama and voting and politics and it's just a big fat mess! Even if I wanted to have a say in things, I wouldn't know what to actually say! And I'm realizing more and more how heavily our salvation lies on an INDIVIDUAL level. No President of this country or any other has the right or the influence to corrupt our individual righteousness. One may make it harder than the other, but in this particular case, who's to tell?
There are a lot of things that I can be involved in and a lot of places where my influence really makes a difference. I don't think I'm going to be able to march to Washington and change the outcome on any polls. My opinion and my values matter most strongly in the way I choose to live and whom I choose to support. If we can get a righteous man in the "judgment seat" ... all the better, but if not, I'm still going to keep my own priorities.
I've been thinking a lot lately about what's important and what's not. I've found myself in some heavily pressured situations where I haven't known how to follow through. I've been reading and studying and have realized that the strongest need in my life is to simplify, balance, purify, and love. The natural woman in me is seeking for gratification. I've been analyzing and tainting my life and relationships with expectations and anxieties. That's not how the Lord wants me to live. Everything that I'd been frustrated about has been irrelevant. The most important thing in my life, and in all of our lives should be to return to our Heavenly Father. We do that by denying ourselves and taking up our crosses and following Him. Luke 9:23. That's what I need to remember. Deny myself. As I follow this counsel, I have seen how everything feels more peaceful and natural. Pressures and expectations diminish as I've been able to realign my priorites. It's true that real fulfillment comes when you're not constantly focused and seeking it. The Lord provides what I need, as long as I'm doing what He requires.

Neal A. Maxwell, “Becoming a Disciple,” Ensign, Jun 1996, 12
What is it that we are to deny ourselves? The ascendancy of any appetites or actions which produce not only the seven deadly sins but all the others. Happily, self-denial, when we practice it, brings great relief. It represents emancipation from all the “morning after” feelings, whether caused by adultery or gluttony. Being concerned with tomorrow, true disciples are very careful about today! Self denial also includes not letting our hearts become too set on any trivial or worldly thing. Then we can learn the great lessons about the relationship of righteousness to the powers and the joys of heaven.
The fundamental fact is that if we do not deny ourselves, we are diverted. Even if not wholly consumed with the things of the world, we are still diverted sufficiently to make serious discipleship impossible. As a consequence, all the gifts and talents God has given us are not put meekly on the altar to serve others and to please God. Instead, we withhold to please ourselves. Diversion, therefore, is not necessarily gross transgression, but it is a genuine deprivation, especially if we consider what we might have become and what more we might have done to bless and to help others.

Manufactured entertainment

I hate video games. I've always hated them, but I've only just discovered this about myself. My first memory of Nintendo was when Trista got one for Easter. My Mario died repeatedly. She was four years younger than me, and she could kick my trash. I sucked at it. And I didn't understand the point. Why would I care if my Mario lived or died? What did I get out of it? There seemed to be very little sense of accomplishment in jumping on a turtle. Especially when I accidentally kicked it and it slid back around to bite my Mario in the heels. It really is just anxiety causing for me! Then there were the Mario cart races with Desirae. She hated Nintendo, too! I actually think I talked her into playing because I felt deprived that I never had one. I needed to fit in with all the other kids who knew how to play. She popped all my balloons and I always slid uncontrollably off of the rainbow road. Now, I AM a big fan of actual balloon popping, and I have been known to slide off of an icy road a time or two. Reality is much more exhilerating, I promise you! Now, I do recall a very random get-together in Carolyn Norby's basement, playing Donkey Kong with Andrea, Lauralynn, Kary and Des. Were we all there? I think it was one of those rare occasions! Carolyn's basement was the location for many grand adventures, and I think the six of us could have spent the day stringing Fruit Loops onto yarn and had a blast at it! These things I like! I never cared much for the game, but I LOVE my friends and I love spending quality time with them and laughing until we burst! But I don't think Donkey Kong was necessary for any of that!

This week, I was met with a couple "entertaining" experiences that I didn't necessarily appreciate. Thursday night, I was invited to Rexburg for a "Fat Kid Night" and games! My Rexburg friends and I are really good at being fat kids! We eat and laugh and eat some more and then fight over the last cookie! And we play some killer card games! I was excited to go spend time with old friends. The last time I hung out with these guys was a few weeks ago and we just spent the evening talking and playing wallyball. It was so much fun! I was looking forward to another evening like that! But, when I got there ... there were two girls battling each other out in some ... Yoshi thing on the computer. Nobody else was there yet. I sat on the couch, not even remotely interested in their game. In fact, I was totally bothered by it! I'm sorry, but this it the ULTIMATE waste of time in the world! and I understand if both parties are actually enjoying themselves, but for the most part, it's the least social activity I can think of! If I'd known that's what they meant by "games," I would have reconsidered the drive to Rexburg! But, there were chips and dip involved, and more people showed up, and we had fun sitting on each other and beating each other up on the couches ... it was just hard to get over that stupid game in the background! There's no place for bonding or talking or growth! How can I enjoy my friends' company when they're busy shooting each other off of multi-tiered buildings?! And who climbs around the outside walls of these buildings, anyway?!

So then, on Saturday, I was invited to Lagoon by my friend Richard. Richard's a great guy and a good friend. But that about covers it. And I've really enjoyed myself at Lagoon before ... with groups of friends and cousins where laughing and talking and sociality is involved! It's kind of lame that I spend $30 to get in when my favorite part of Lagoon has always been the people I'm with! Sure, the roller coasters are cool, and the haunted houses aren't bad either ... but I have a low tolerance for manufactured entertainment in general. I'd MUCH rather be climbing rocks and exploring riverbeds with close friends! That's REAL fun! So, I'm with Richard, and his brother and sister-in-law whom I'd never met. The brother was wearing a Zelda t-shirt. These are great people with fun personalities, but my patience was wearing thin. I don't want to say anything bad about the experience, because ultimately it ended up being good. We did have fun and I'm glad I went. But I'm also glad it's over. Next time I consider going to Lagoon, I'm gonna have to weigh all the factors ...

She's Six!!!

Happy 6th Birthday, McKylla!!!

She's Two!!!

Happy Birthday, Abby!!!